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Toto Series - That's your problem


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Toto Series - That's your problem

Toto Series: That’s Your Problem

Isn’t it funny that no matter what you are going through life is happening? Like you can be in the deepest of shits and someone is pissing the champagne they got drunk on celebrating all over you. Life is always happening.
I sat in the front seat still strapped waiting for Angela to get back. She had left the key in the ignition and left the stereo on so that I won’t be bored but instead the music kept annoying me with each new song. Do people really listen to the garbage this singers spew? And it’s played on radio? Even though I admit that my anger wasn’t entirely because of the music, I reached for the knob to turn it off. Maybe my mind would have some quiet to sieve through its own noise.

“We interrupt regular broadcast…”

the voice of the announcer rough and untidy interrupted the song and my action.

“… Listen to this. Following the fresh wave of the new virus, federal government is pressed to announce with immediate effect the closing down of all schools, public and private. All  places of worship and leisure. Interstate travel will also be restricted to only personal on essential duty; our security forces, medical personnel and the media. These measures are necessary to ensure the safety of lives of every Nigerian and government is deeply saddened by any inconvenience this may cause. States are advice to follow the safety guidelines in establishing their containment strategies. God bless the… ”

” hope I didn’t take too long? The queue was something else” Angela burst into the car interrupting the rest of the announcement. She put the takeaway packs and other items in the back seat.

“Are you okay?”

She queried and I nodded. Another lock down? This is the type of material nightmares are made of.
“Are you sure you are okay?”

” Dude, just drive okay! ”
” you don’t have to yell at me. Be a sour puss all you want but that attitude better be fixed by the time we arrive Tim’s place.”

Another lock down? With immediate effect? Did this fuckers ever think anything through before making these pronouncements? Could this country survive another round of lock downs? This was some real bullshit. I needed out of here!

“why da fuck is this happening?” I cursed under my breath.

“You said?”


“I heard you say something. Spit it”

“If you heard then why da fuck are you now asking me”?

“I didn’t hear the words and what exactly is wrong with you? Why are you acting like I drowned your cat???”

“I am so not in the mood for this okay… Just drive. Mtcheeew… In fact what did you get for lunch?”

“Are you doing this on purpose? Are you acting mad because it turns me on? If you want some of this… Just say so! She took her hand off the steering wheel to demonstrate her whole body. She knew how to make my frown turn upside down.

“You dey ment. Maifren what did you get for lunch?”

I smiled as I searched the backseat where she dropped the takeaway packs, choosing spaghetti and turkey wings.

Angela and I had shared a total of ten words during our first three years of school. She was a “chirpy-the-day-is-always-sunny-and I’m a pretty yellow flower girl and I kept away from her lot. I was a loner and it served me well.

We actually got to know each other during a school field trip. We had all been paired, two to a room to save cost and we ended up in the same room. I only slept in the room at night to avoid her and her brainless lot. She always had people drawn to her. Like some queen bee. Urgh!

On the day we were to visit the palace of the Ewi of Ado Ekiti, a day before our departure that is, we both woke up by 10am, the bus left since 8:30 am. We then had the grand idea, well actually she had the idea to follow them even though none of us knew the place or knew a word of Yoruba in case we needed directions. The taxi we hired took us to the Ejeye Oka Ere Shrine and left even before we could confirm if the location was correct.

After plenty fails at describing where we needed to be, a good Samaritan offered to take us there. That Samaritan would end up robbing us and leaving us on the side of the road, where we thinking the day couldn’t possibly get worst got drenched by the hardest rain I’ve ever felt. It was like we were being flogged by an unseen old woman for missing the bus.
By this time I was too angry for words. My anger swelled and spilled over my wet cheeks merging with the large strokes pelting my head and back. Angela on the other hand was laughing and talking about looking at the bright side of things.
Even though we had spent the last 3 hours getting fucked, she was all giddy and sunny. That made me even angrier. While we contemplated our next line of action, the bus we missed just happened to pass us. We rode the bus in silence while our lecturer saw it as a teachable moment and went on a tirade of why we should utilize all opportunities or end up miserable like Angela and Edidiong. By the time we reached the hotel I was ready to carve my brains out with a blunt rusty knife. I went up to our room while our lecturer gave Angela orders on whatever. I wasn’t going to stick around longer for the over twenty pairs of eyes judging, pitying and gloating at my predicament. Fuck them all.

I sat at the edge of the bathtub and let my tears fall unhindered. The monies I lost wasn’t even my problem, it’s the fact that I was taken for a fool. Growing in Asaba, you learn quickly that the difference between life and death is gullibility. Person wey fit make you believe am fit kill you. And such an easy con?


It was all Angela’s fault. I actually got caught up in her optimistic spirit and see where it landed me. The door creak interrupted my hiss. And just like the devil being summoned; Angela was inside the bathroom with me. Naked and muddy with that godforsaken smile on her face.

“Can’t you see the bathroom is occupied? ”

She entered the bathtub with me and turned on the shower head. She squealed as the water cold as ice sprayed us. Her squeal tuned into a giggle and full blown laugher while my body shook in anger. That’s when she kissed me. It was a collusion of her lips against mine. That jolted me out of the bathtub, out of the bathroom and almost out of the hotel room. She followed me dripping wet and laughing.

“Don’t evert try that shit!” I shouted. My voice sounding strangely thinner than usual.
“Why? I saw the way you’ve been looking at me throughout today. Don’t tell me…”
“You’re very mad. Who was looking at you? I no dey play this kain game so if this is a joke you better stop it.”

She walked up to me. Stood until our nose touched then lifted my left hand and placed on her breasts. I jerked at the feel of her skin against my palm. But she held it There. I swallowed hard. What was suddenly stuck in my throat? And why was I panting? What was happening to me??

She moved my palm over her breasts in an up down motion. My eyes fluttered closed. I swallowed. I felt her lips. Soft and moist brush over my lips. I tried to open my eyes, I tried to speak, to push her away but I couldn’t move. It was like I was in a trance, awake to every sensation coursing through my body but unable to move. My lips parted and her tongue gained entrance. She played with my lower lip, allowing her lips and teeth and tongue gain familiarity of my mouth as she pressed harder on my palms.

She left my hands to wonder over the marvel of her anatomy while she touched on mine. Her cold hands sent a shiver down my entire body. She rolled her tongue over mine and  tugged on my nipple simultaneously eliciting a deep throaty moan from me. Her tongue was on my neck while her hands were rubbing my breasts showing me places to also touch on her body. It was too much, there was too much happening at once. I pulled back panting like I’d just escaped being mauled by a cheetah.

“I’ve never done this before.”
She gave me a knowing node and led me to the bed.
“Just let go of everything. Follow the flow.”
“You are not hearing me. I said I’ve never been with a woman before. This is so wrong.”
She looked me deep into my eyes before kissing my lips.
“Does this feel wrong?”
She kissed my neck and whispered into my ear.
“Does this feel wrong to you?”
She sucked on my nipple drawing me deep into her mouth before giving me the lightest bite.

“Does this feel wrong.”

She rubbed on the mouth of my vagina lightly before pressing her Index and forefinger into my moist opening. The moan escaped even before I knew there was a buildup. I shut my eyes and swallowed.

“Does this feel wrong to you?”

She asked in the most ethereal voice as her fingers worked me. My body was on fire yet I wanted more. My throat was patched and no matter how much I swallowed I still needed more. My legs couldn’t hold my weight anymore but it didn’t matter because I was floating. I was weightless as her stroking intensified. There I was in a swanky hotel room being pleasured by a woman who was making me feel things I’d never Felt. My orgasm hit me. Fast and hard. I’d never had an orgasm so there was no anticipating It. I felt a jolt like sensation that spread from the back of my head to every single part of my body. It was like I was being fed with electric current low enough to survive and high enough to force screaming from me. She held on to me until the spasms had run its course.

The next day as soon as we arrived campus, I shaved my hair into a mowhawk.

That was seven years ago. We hadn’t been in the same city since after graduation and lost all communications until the first lock down saw us quarantined together in Melbourne. She was running a course that I was facilitating. I’d moved to Sidney to avoid Nigerians and their small mindedness after I’d come out to my mum and she in turn told my dad who arranged for me to be married to his old friend’s son who funny enough was a closet gay. He was willing to go ahead with the union to end months of bullying and threats. I wasn’t. My dad gave me an ultimatum. Be married or disowned. I chose the latter. I left home, Nigeria and everything in it with the intention of never returning until I walked into the lecture hall that faithful winter morning and saw Angela in all her giddiness. She had grown from the girl in Ekiti to a sophisticated woman. She’d been sent by her company which according  to her was going to be headed by her in the fall. She had moved up and it showed on her. She’d replaced her jeans with pencil skirts braids with a bob complete with rich hues. Her makeup was subtle and accentuated her high cheekbones and brown eyes.

After the lecture she came to introduce herself. I’d acted like she was just another post graduate foreign student and didn’t allow my gaze linger beyond seconds. I feigned ignorance then surprise then anger. She was all apologies and laughter. She was staying at the Atlantis and wouldn’t mind if we meet up sometime for drinks. I told her it was against school policy to frolic with students.

“Even old friends?”

“First of all there is nothing old about you, and secondly sadly even old friends.”

For the next three months we shared the same space and built up so much tension. We could’ve powered a village for weeks. It was always there; the undercurrent of desire. Being in the same room and acting like strangers took every single strength I could master. I became irritable and curt with my students. My normal mild Gothic brooding turned into full darkened skies. The more angry I got, the more turned on she became, the more she tried to get me the more I acted. A full circle of intense fucking without any of the pleasure.

After a particularly fucked up day, I called her up in the evening and invited her to my place for drinks. As soon she stepped into the room I pounced on her. She was still giddy and mischievous but I was a grown woman who had tore through women in three countries. This time around I was in charge and I wanted to fuck through the tension of the past three months. I wanted to fuck her smile off her face. She’d taught me a few tricks back in uni, I was about to show her new international tricks.

Her lips were still as soft as I remembered. We were both in a rush to familiarize our lips, hands, bodies. Our clothes left a trail from the living room door to the bed. I made her sit on my fingers. Spreading wide, jutting her juiced big butt filling my grateful palms. Her grind was rhythmic. Deep deep.. Round deep… Low curl deep… Deep deep. I followed her tempo moving to her grind. Giving her room to drive us there. Before long, her head fell to the side in the way I knew her eruption was near.
Not so fast.

I stood up lifting her with her butt to my face. I dropped her on the top of my drawers and went in. She tasted soft like hot marshmellows melting in my mouth. Her nails dug into my back sending me deeper. I could feel her thighs squeeze in as the night was rendered by her moans. She cames in gusts.. Her breath and juices erupted staccato like.  She smiled at me as I took her to the bed.

You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I wore Hercules. All my straps had names. Hercules was my 7 inch pink dildo. I hovered above her, guiding hercules like à taunt arrow.

“I want to have you in the shower.  That’s where I got my first taste of your lips, it’s only right I give you a taste of the monster you made there”

She giggled as she caressed the side of my face. She paused as though an unpleasant thought reached out to steal her joy.

“Is that what you think of yourself? A monster?”
“I’d let you be the judge of that. ”

I’ve not been with anyone else. I couldn’t bring myself to be with someone else after you left.”
“After I left? You and I remember what happened differently. It doesn’t even matter now, we are here. We should be fucking not talking.”

“It matters to me. Do you know what you did? How I felt when you left? No word, no explanation, just silence.”

WHAT! How was she spread in my bed in the glow of her cum fresh and poignant and saying I left her? She must have bumped her head on the wall while I gave her head. Maybe instead of cum she’d orgasmed brain matter.

“That’s your problem”

She knew better than to continue any conversation after I’d said those words. She knew that was me checking out.

She reached out with both hands and pinched my nipples, hard ! My groan was a throaty broken  AHhhh.. Hh!

I thrust in ferociously. She spread open welcoming my deep assault. I was like a hell hound following a faint scent. She was my gateway yet I was doomed to always remain imprisoned. I thrust deeper burying her betrayal. Enveloping myself in the softness of her insides where the sting of her throwing away my love pure and fierce couldn’t reach.

Watching her in the throes of passion drove me mad with desire. She didn’t hold anything back. She gave and received in equal measure. I flipped her over and she provided the perfect arch.

Ahh… Hhha!

I went in!

I tasted of her offering.

She was flowing with molten necter. She was swollen with pleasure and I sucked and teased and drew sounds of music from her.

When her whimpering grew deeper I thrust into her again..driving her to platforms she’d never been on, taking her through dark alleys of desire she’d never knew existed.

I felt my jerking and knew the inevitable was near. Holding on for dear life I exploded in to tiny fragments of nothingness.

“Still think I’m not a monster?”

she insisted we take a shower but we ended up fucking again.  After a dinner of Chinese takeout we were back in my bed. I never allowed any woman sleep in my bed. But here she was all comfortable and shit in my sweatshirt and socks.

“You’re sweet. I don’t know why you think you need to hide behind your clothes and hair and all this..

“Anger? That seems to be your Achilles no?”

The giggle was back.

“I don’t even know how even after all these years you still have a hold on me. Mehn. And the way you fuck? Omo! I almost passed out! That thing you did in the bathroom, I’ve never experienced sensations like that ever. I mean, even if I want to; I can’t claim to have made this monster as you say.”

You were the first woman I was ever with. And it’s not like I wanted to be with a woman before. Sometimes I remember Ekiti and I wonder if we hadn’t gotten lost and duped and drenched, if you hadn’t walked into the bathroom or kissed me, I’d probably be in Ikorodu with two children and a husband stuck in the madness of that city. With no one this wiser. Even if you don’t claim it, you actually made me come to terms with who I am.”

She’d moved into my apartment three days later and a week after that the first quarantine measures where invoked. She was always calling home. The protests in various cities, the warehouse looting she kept tabs on it all. That was also when I knew about Tim. She’d met Tim during our final exams and they’d been together ever since. They were clearly in love. The way she became animated when she talked about him. The way she’d cry silently on nights she spoke to him. That was who she had chosen over me.

She’d introduced me as her best friend and I smiled and waved into the camera when they FaceTimed. As soon as travel restrictions were eased she was on the next available flight back to Nigeria leaving me with a broken heart for the same man again.

Four months ago she faced timed me to show me her ring. Tim had proposed and they were getting married. It was going to be a small wedding with mostly family and a few friends. She wanted me to be her made of honor. I’d cried that night. This woman that had been my first lover, that had made me realize what loving someone totally was, was asking me to come and bear witness as she gave of herself to another man. And somehow I’d agreed? The tears wouldn’t stop flowing. I called the twins and even that couldn’t stop my broken river banks.

It’s been two weeks since I arrived Lagos and the tension between us had already peaked. My consolation was that in two more weeks this will all be over and I’d call up Boirj to exorcise Angela’s memory. That was until the announcement over the radio of another lock down with immediate effect.

****** ****** ***** **** **** **** ****

This is a prequel to Do you have a problem with it? which is a premium story. Kindly subscribe on our profile to access it.

Toto Series - That's your problem Part II

Toto Series: Do you have a problem with it?

This is a sequel to That’s Your Problem which can be accessed for free on our profile.

I was put up at the Continental. That was where the ceremony was to take place. Tim's friends from out of town were also going to be lodged there when they came in. His best man who had just returned from the UK was also lodged but I avoided him. Angela had asked me to tone down the Gothic.

"This is Nigeria abeg. I can't have my maid of honour looking like the man I'm saying I do to."

"Is that your fear? That you want to say I do to me instead?"

"But you are not my Man, na? With your chest that is competing with my own?."

"wanna touch?"

"Go away! I'm serious. Please try and be more ladylike. The wedding is attracting unnecessary attention and our families are being scrutinised like lab rats or Something. It's insane and I don't want to give these jobless bloggers lunch money. Abeg for my sake."

"sure. Anything for you."

And so I bought dresses, heels and wigs for my stay at the Continental. I attended family luncheons, followed her for fittings and cake tasting and all the unnecessary things intending couples piled on their to-do list before signing their life away. She'd asked and I was willing to play the part.

Tim's father was a shrewd businessman who made his fortune after the Nigerian Civil war. He had oil wells as well as shares in banks and other places only mentioned in whispers. Tim was raised to take over the empire. He was an honour student at Harvard before heading to the Robert Kennedy College in Zurich. He carried himself well. He was kind and decent, with impeccable fashion sense. He had introduced me to Kunle his best man who everybody agreed was the most eligible bachelor in Nigeria. I didn't like him nor did I pretend to. That didn't stop him from trying though. Poor guy.

Before the lockdown was announced, Tim came to the Continental. I'd finished a particularly rewarding massage session with the lady with the softest hands. After she "de knotted" my muscles, she was more than grateful for her outpouring. Nigerian women are always shocked at how much fluids I can draw from them. Change your boyfriends' dears. This particular one soaked Her massage bench through and through.

He said he dropped by on Angela's orders and asked if he could come in. I invited him up and replaced my robe for yoga pants and a matching tank top to come off as more girly. His aura was powerful. As soon as he stepped into the room, he filled it up. Not in an intrusive way, but still potent. He sat on the couch and handed me a gift box complete with a dusty blue bow.

"I hope it isn't another dress"

"Well... Angel says you can't have too many dresses, so... "

I shook my head while he smiled. It was indeed another dress and a long wig with deep full waves.

"She knows I'm not wearing this!"

The dress was too glittery, a sharp rose gold sequinned dress with straps at the back. the hair looked full and in Lagos heat? Hell no!

“She ordered me to order you to wear it"

"You can't be serious!"

Of course, he was. So like Angela to pull off a stunt like this. They were having one of those dinner meetings to discuss the guestlist for the ceremony. Angela came from a professional political family starting with her great grandmother who worked closely with Awolowo when he was Premier of the old western region. Her father was running for governor, and this alliance served both parents well.

These dinners were nothing but political meetings. After a few photographs and old reused jokes, the "men" excused themselves and entered into closed-door meetings that never ended. This was the third dinner to talk about the guest list.

"No offence, but I can't stand these dinners! The only good thing about them is the food and I can't even indulge because your fiancé keeps forcing me into these unholy contraptions she calls dresses!"

Just like his aura, his laughter filled the room drawing me in. I was laughing too.

"You are the first woman I know to call a dress an unholy contraption. Don't tell anybody, but I also hate these dinners. But I love Angela and I'd go through a thousand more as long as it makes her happy."

"You and me"

I said without thinking. He arched his eyebrow but I didn't fill up the growing silence. I didn't try to persuade him one way or the other. He could make of it what he wanted. The silence stretched on and with it an unspoken appreciation. The knowledge that we both loved the same woman and we were both willing to give up everything to please her.

"Thank you for doing this"

I smiled.

"The things we do for love" was all I could say. As I went into the room to change into my latest unholy contraption complete with matching heels, a clutch and a smile.

He offered his bent elbow and I held on as we made our way to his car. And just like that, the energy between us had shifted. In our love for Angela, we found a sort of kinship. At the end of the ride, he whispered into my ear and kissed my lips before dropping.

"Did you tell Tim we've fucked??"

"What? Well hello to you. I see you've hit the bar already?" Angela didn't look so chirpy this Evening. Her hair had been pulled back into a tight ponytail at the base of her neck. She was wearing a dusty pink sweetheart neckline gown with low box heeled sandals. She looked tired but like the soldier she is, she was keeping on. I didn't care.

“Answer my question. Did you... “

“... Is that why you dragged me here like this? And why would you think that?"

"Answer the fucking question dude, did you tell him we fucked?"

"Shhhh... Stop shouting, does it make sense for me to tell anybody?

"Think Angela, think. Maybe while he fucked your brains out, or maybe during a drunk episode. Did y'all compare notes? Was that what you did after ditching me in Melbourne ?"

I know I wasn't making any sense. I sounded mad even to my own ears but I couldn't help it. My chest was being squeezed by a blackened hand. Hard and unforgiving. She was the one who didn't want tongues wagging. She was the one who wanted me to play pretend so why would she tell anybody? much Less Tim?

She led me to her room to get away from the eyeballs we were beginning to attract.

"Edi, you need to calm down and stop shouting okay. This whole place is buzzing with journalists and everybody looking for a good story or something to use against my father and I can't have your loud mouth jeopardizing... Wait... Why do you even care if he knows or not?"

"FUCK you! Fuck you, Angela."

“Edi What is this about? Because I am sure as HELL know this isn't about what you're talking about. "


Why did I care truly? It wasn't that he knew. It was that he knew I was her lover and she STILL chose him over me. It was the way he casually delivered those words knowing their truth stung more than anything he could've thrown at me. He was the better man and no matter how hard I played pretend, I would never be good enough for her.

"It's about you sending me that text in May saying you couldn't do this anymore. No explanation, no room for me to understand why you'd up and leave. then tell me you hadn't been with another woman because what we shared was sacred. It’s about you lying in my bed soaked through by our lovemaking and you leaving the next day with a frigging note saying you couldn't do this anymore. It's about.... "

Her lips were dry and I could tell she had been biting on them. The wedding must bother her more than she let on. This was just like Angela. To kiss and fuck her way through me. She knew that I wouldn't be able to resist her. I couldn't all those years in Ekiti, I couldn't in Melbourne and now...

I bit her instead. She pulled away from me dazed! Good. I needed some distance between us. I needed to say what was on my mind and her pressing against me didn't give more room for thought.

"You fucking bit me???"

“ I know and I am sorry. Now listen...

"you fucking bit me, Edi!"

Then it registered. She wasn't angry, she was extra turned on. Before I could step back she was on me. Her hand holding my jaw while she crushed my lips with her bloodied lips. I tasted blood. Her blood and grapes and a tangy taste of dark ale. I felt the now-familiar current buzzing at the back of my head but I didn't move. I stood and let her.

She yanked at the straps of my dress until my breasts were hanging out. She was in a hurry, her hands grazed over my nipples down my dress meanwhile her other hand tried to keep my face firmly on hers while freeing her breasts. She was everywhere Trying to do too many things at once. she was making a mess. But I let her. I let her spread my legs which was surprising in the tight dress I'd squeezed myself into. She was back on my sore nipple from the chafing. I groaned which she took for a pleasure moan. her lips were on my neck, my face, leaving a wet trail.

Tim entered.

My heart swelled with pride at the sight of his utter shock. Well, Tim, who's got the girl now? Really? I looked at the frozen fear on Angela's face and felt like a pig. Looks like there is no winning Tim.

He walked out as quietly as he came.

Angela lunged at the door. Bare breasts and dishevelled hair. Running after him. What fuckery. I caught her before she was out of the room. She clawed and tried to squeeze through to get out.

"I'm finished"

"No, you're not. He knows better than to do anything crazy what with this place buzzing with paparazzi and his father's business associates."

How can you be so sure? Didn't you see the look on his face? My god! I'm finished! O my god.

And the way to "unfinish" yourself is to flash your boobs abi?


"Weren't you the one giving me a lecture on not creating a scene 10 minutes ago? Running after your fiancé half-naked is normal behaviour here abi ? "

How. Can. You. Be. This. Callous? My fiancé just caught me with you and you are this calm?

“As opposed to what? What do you want me to do? Turn hysterical and jump out the window? Besides, he's known about us So dust yourself off and let's go and eat.”

“Isn't that just grand? Durst yourself off let's go and eat like it is that simple? Do you know the magnitude of what we have done? Of what I have done? How can I face him? What have I gotten myself into? Do you think he will call off the wedding?”

“O please! Don't be silly. Tim loves you too much to call off the wedding. Is he pissed? Maybe a little but Y'all would be fine.”

“What am I going to do? “

“You can stay here and lament while I go down for a drink and some of the food. O by the way, what explanation should I give for your absence?”

Watching her unravel so easily at the thought of losing Tim was pissing me off. Angela had been turned into an incoherent mess and I hated it. Nobody, not even me should have such power over her. Here I was, me, Edidiong consoling her and assuring her of the love of Tim. I pushed my selfish desires along with my growing dislike for him and tried to salvage the situation. I ordered her into the bathroom to take a shower and called Tim.

He sat across from me looking straight into my eyes. He was pissed too I could see. Good. Pissed is good. When he dropped me, he'd told me I'd not be a part of his wife's life post marriage a "Your thing, whatever it is, is done and I'd very much love to have my wife all to myself".

"What do you want?"

"What we both want. Angela happy."

"If you think..."

"I think you should listen to what I have to say. Look. It's like you said. My time with her is done. She wants to be with you not me."

"I know that."

"Good. So don't jeopardize your happiness because of that episode earlier...

"That episode was my fiancée dry humping another woman with all of our family and friends under the same roof a week to our wedding.

The guts on you to sit there with that smug face telling me not to jeopardize my happiness. I should have you arrested and jailed if for nothing else to see how long that smug look will last."

"I am not going to apologize so don't expect it. And we can spend the whole day accusing and threatening each other but that's not going to help our little situation now would it? See, I'm only here till the wedding and I'd be out of Y'all lives for good. However, you need to decide if you love her and want to continue with the wedding plans or you can go downstairs and call it off."

"How do I know you won't try to make a move on her? What assurance do I have that, that little episode as you called it is the last of it?"

"You don't. But I won't."



So we all went downstairs and had dinner and they finally decided on the guest list that was basically everybody. Kunle was by my side playing the victim of double patriarchal standards. I endured it with a smile and champagne. The food as usual was delicious and the conversation boisterous.

Angela sat beside Tim who held her hand under the table. She was still quite shaken about earlier. Even with fresh new clothes and make-up she still looked out of her wits. She wasn't giggling and only spoke when spoken to. After the guests had left, she drew me aside to thank me for saving her. Her big brown eyes were shiny with unshod tears. I watched her talk and all I could think of was her clumsiness earlier. I should've kissed her back. I should've gone with the flow. Guiding her frantic energy with calm expertise. Now it was too late. I had given my word and even though I hated Tim’s guts, I always kept my word.

“Madam! Did you zone out or something? I said what time should I come to pick you?”

"For what?"

"The final fitting is Wednesday. I'd pick you and we would head to Tim's house so we can all go together. So, what time? Know what, never mind. I'd come by 8am so that we can beat traffic.

“You can go without me. I'd rather spend my day allowing Monica to work on my tense muscles."

“Say what?”


“You're here the whole of 3 seconds and you have a Monica?”

“And à host of others. Do you have a problem with that?”

“A host of... How could you do this to me?”

“How is this doing anything to you? I'd say this is the exact opposite of doing to you.”

“This is my wedding, you are my guest and you are in Nigeria. You know that's 14 years right?”

“second time Today I'm being threatened with arrest. First, it was your Tim and now you. What's this madness na? You are getting married and yet you're having a seizure a woman is going to be in my bed tonight. Wake up to the real world Angela. You can't eat your cake and have it.”

“Ladies... What cake are we talking about.”

Fruitcake. I answered. This was unbelievable. What exactly do women want? Angela is here throwing a fit at the thought of me with another woman yet she is the very same woman who almost ran through the house half-naked after Tim. Tim had come to "collect" his bride to be while Kunle was to drive me to the Continental.

“She's staying the night.”

“She is?”

“I am?”

“Yes. Do you have a problem with it?”

The question was to Tim. I'd never heard the steel in her voice before but it was there, unmistakably heavy. Her words hung in the air for a while. Tim looked at me, nodded and kissed her cheek goodbye. I stood awkwardly at the door while he walked past. head held high, ego bruised.

"What the hell is wrong with you Angela? You know I am the last person to tell you how to treat people but did you have to dismiss him like that?"

“We needed the time to talk”

"Whatever it was, girl that man is about to be your husband and you sending him off like he's the help?!."

"Edidiong stop trying to deflect okay. This isn't about Tim and me, this is about you always having random women in your bed."

"I don't see how that is a problem or any business of yours. Besides you didn't have a problem being a part of the random women in my bed as I recall."

Twack! Twack! Twack!


This woman slapped me. I mean the slap itself didn't hurt as much as how I stood there. Not just once but three times. And it was even paced. Almost like she counted to three in-between and I stood there and took it all. Did Angela put anything in our drinks tonight that made us into her puppies or what? This was some bullshit and I was tired. I was tired of being in this dress, hair and shoes. I was tired of her family, judgy lot with their nose stuck in the air like disabled ostriches, I was tired!!!!

The buzzing undercurrent had grown to a ranging growl and that little episode earlier had let the beast loose but I knew we had to kill it before it consumed us and I ended in Kirikiri or worse.

"I'm out of here. Fuck you, Angela. Fuck you very much."

She was walking behind me while I hobbled through the dining room to the living room in those nasty heels id been standing in for the better part of the evening.

"I heard you that night. you thought I was asleep but I heard you."

I kept on walking. I didn't know what she was talking about but I didn't care. All I wanted was to be out of here before the waterworks started.


"In Melbourne, I heard you talking to Butch or whatever her name was."

One leg in front of the other, that's how you do it. Just keep walking. She is trying to bait you, don't fall for it. Dear Jesus don't let me start crying here, I'm almost at the door.

"That's fine. Walkout, run away as you have always done"

O hell no!

That's your forte dude. I never run from a fight.

“Isn't that what you are doing?”

“I am leaving before this place becomes a murder scene. I am leaving so whatever cooked up bullshit you have about the nastiness that is beneath that sunshine facade you put up is maintained.”

The doors were locked. Shit!

“If there is any nastiness in me, you put it there. My life was perfect before you came and ruined everything.”

"how about you open this door and watch me leave your life with all my nastiness. At least you won't have to continue pretending to be friends with poor folks."

We were both crying and screaming now and yet somehow nobody came running to witness our howling.

"O don't look shocked. Wasn't that what I was to you? That poor girl with the attitude problem you took upon your gracious self to elevate her status.

"That's not true. I loved you."

"You didn't love me. You loved how I fucked you alright. And as long as you got it, you were good."

"That's on you, not me. I tried to hang out with you but you wouldn't let me. In class, you acted like I didn't exist even when I sat beside you. I bought you stuff but you always rejected them or returned them."

“I wasn't a charity case.!”

"How was I to know my being rich offended you that much? Was my being rich also the reason why there were girls in your bed?"


"Don't what me. I went to your room to drop off your birthday gifts since I knew how you'd react if I gave them to you and I found a girl half-naked in your bed. And she wasn't the first. That's why I left".

“Dude. I lived in a frigging hostel. I shared a room with close to 8 girls on a good day and you assumed some random girl in my bed was my girlfriend? Are you serious?”

"What was I to believe? You only came around to fuck and leave. Not to mention how you were always rubbing all the attention you were getting in my face. I loved you and wanted to be with you but always pushed me away."

“Is that why you sent me that nasty text and blocked me?”

"Well, you didn't seem bothered."

“And Melbourne?”

"I told you. I heard you talking to that girl. You thought I was asleep but I saw you kiss her too. I wasn't going to stick around for round two."

"Boirj was my girlfriend. We were together for 7 months before you showed up. I broke things off with her as soon as you moved in. She was upset and came over for closure. I know it doesn't make any difference but she kissed me. I swear to you I never cheated on you. Never!"

She uncrossed her hands and walked to me until our nose touched.


I didn't realize I was holding my breath. How did we go from yelling to me being this breathless.?


Because I won't let you go ever again. Because if we cross this line,na Kirikiri get us. Because I will die if you ever leave me again. I cant was all the lump in my throat would allow.

"You can't or you won't?"

My whole being wanted to but let's be honest you are the one that walked away from me; twice. You are the one that is about to get married. You are the one that should be stopping us.

I can't do this.

Do this?

She kissed me. Lightly, slowly as if waiting for me to bite her. Instead, I parted my lips and allowed her access. As long as it wasn't me who made the first move, I figured I technically didn't break my word. She stopped.

Do you want this? Because I do. I want to kiss you and touch you and allow you to make nasty heart thumbing mad love to me. But only if you want it to.

Well, I'd be damned.

Yes, I very much want to.

There was an awkward 30 seconds before our lips touched. She leaned into the kiss. Pressing her lips against mine. I swallowed. I shivered with excitement and fear. We were kissing in her house and she and Tim had unkindly reminded me that this is Nigeria and I could end up in jail. Just me the daughter of a nobody while they would sail into the Nigerian version of sunset. Her tongue sought entrance and I obliged. There was no hurry to her movement and I matched her energy. I was wet and a finger up her crotch showed it was mutual. How I wish the mamba was here. The mamba was my 9 inches thickly veined black dildo complete with a customised strap. O yes, it will serve me well at this moment. I would love to draw throaty moans from her, fucking her inside out until she lay spent then do it again. Angela was an embodiment of passion and she never hid her pleasure. I peeled off her clothes and she mirrored me. We stood naked hearts beating in unison. This was actually happening. All the fights, the angry outbursts, the tears were culminating in our lovemaking. I knelt before her kissing from her belly button to the patch of hair. She held up my head obviously self-conscious she had allowed that much hair growth. I kissed her gently on the base of her waist to reassure her. I didn't mind. If she grew it, I'd become a cavewoman it was that simple. I kissed her slow but deeply. Tasting of her woman moist and engorged. Her body responded to every flicker of my tongue every suckle, every nibble. She began to quake but I wasn't ready to allow her to find release just yet. I let her fall on me and I gently laid her to the carpet. I laid on top of her and looked into her eyes. The fire was back where it belonged. Then she giggled and looked away.

“Do tell me, are you shy?”


Well, I'd be damned.

I kissed her neck, the base of her throat, the rise of her breasts, her nipples were already as hard as rocks when my lips found them. She moaned as I suckled on them. She rubbed on my clit and dug the fingers into my wet vagina. We were in no hurry. I sucked on her breasts and she drew hot liquid from my swollen clitoris. I positioned myself above her to ensure she got maximum pleasure and began to ride. She stopped me and ordered me to sit on the couch. I obliged and spread my thighs wide.

Whatever she was doing to my vagina I felt in my throat. Her tongue found all the nerve endings available and caressed them. While her tongue fucked my clitoris her fingers - index and middle fingers fucked my vagina. My orgasm hit quick and heavy. My body stretched out like I had been struck by a lightning bolt. My toes curled as my groan filled the room. She then climbed me and began to ride. I didn't know why but I began to cry. I buried my face in her neck and urged her on. Soon she had climaxed.

“What’s wrong”

“Fuck angela, what have we gotten ourselves into.”

“Are you regretting this?”

“Fuck no!”

"Good. Because I will just strangle you."

“Talking about death, where is everybody? I kept expecting your father or somebody to enter with a gun or a sword or something. All that noise and not a soul stirred?”

"This is my father's private section. It is soundproof. World war 3 can happen here and nobody will know." the way out is on the other side. I can't believe you still don't know your way around by now.

“Everything looks the same abeg.”


“I cant. You are getting married and my life is in Australia.”

"What if I don't get married would you stay?"

"And constantly look over my shoulder because of who I decide to love?"

"Then I will come with you."


"I'm not losing you ever again. You either stay or I go with you."


Isn't it funny that no matter what you are going through life is happening? Like you can be in the deepest of shits and someone is pissing the champagne they got drunk on celebrating all over you. Life is always happening.

No body is off limit

Toto Series: Nobody Is Off Limits

If na by your argument then everybody go enter hell so make everybody getaaat!”

“Don’t take this too personal. All she is saying is that some things are off-limits and seducing a pastor is one of them.”

“What do you mean by taking things too personal? Person dey talk rubbish about my person and you are saying I should not take it too personal? So suddenly you people know some things should be off-limits but you are servicing your boss, his boss and his brother because you want promotion. Miss don’t touch my anointed here who is allowing her lecturers touch everything, shey those ones no dey off-limit na single man wey no even get babe wey I talk say I want don suddenly turn off-limits because him na pastor? Pastors no dey fuck?”

You see why I do not like living with girls ba. Them go just wake up begin find wetin no loss. We were at breakfast before Sunday service and I mentioned how I would love Pastor Michael to spread me like bread and insert his penis like Akara on a cold Sunday morning like this one so we go cum make hot pap as breakfast na im these cackling witches turn angels begin dey tell me rubbish say as I wan make pastor sin, I go get better mansion for hell complete with AC and bodyguard.

Wo! Make everybody getttaaaatt!!! and you see that pastor Mike, I must fuck am.

Ever since pastor mike resumed at Tabernacle of glories church international Guzape, three months ago; attendance had quadrupled for the 8:00am service. Service wey former pastor dey beg make people attend before, now people no dey see place siddon.

Every Sunday people trooped to church wearing their Sunday best, literally. To be fair, not everybody was there to catch a glance at him. Apart from being drop-dead gorgeous, pastor mike was on fire for the lord. One hour of listening to him felt like 10 seconds. He was charming, charismatic and knew the word of God. He was transferred from Portharcout and based on gist sha, e be like dem send am come Abuja to avoid belle scandal. I guess they figured Abuja babes eye don too tear.

My plan to seduce him was set in motion. No be those kind Nigerian feem own wey you go see person wey wan seduce pastor dey dress Mary Amaka or Delilah. No. You have to find balance. Not too sprikoko and not totally street. Balance. Working in the sales and marketing sector in Lagos opens your eyes to how to approach various clients and how to make them patronize you. If you enter places like V I, Lekki and co, na queens English get you except for those wey been grow from street wey want make you relate with them unto that level. Then when you enter Mushin, Ikorodu, Festac etc dem na area!.

For somebody like pastor Mike, it is obvious he knows he is fine and is conscious of the attention he gets. The idea is not to drown in the sea of mindless fans. During revival week, after a particularly intense session,  pastor Mike called for those who wished to rededicate themselves to God to come forth to the alter. Everybody came out except me. I stayed in my seat right there at the front pew as the whole congregation were gyrating and exhibiting being filled with the spirit. He looked at me with a confused look on his face before he went to pray for those who came out. I left church before they returned to their seats.

My roommates; Mary Jegede and Mary Steven – to differentiate them we called them by their surname,- came back and said pastor Mike had mentioned something about those who could not come out in church should come for private sessions during the revival week. On a normal day, that would be my cue but you have to understand that for a man like pastor Mike, showing up eager to please won’t work. He needs to be the one to pursue you. He wants to be the one to convince you that his wooing you is God’s will.

And so, every Sunday I sat in front, interjected ride on pastor!- always ride on or Yes pastor! So that he saw me but not too much to make me too available. I always dressed demurely. Nothing too revealing, just enough of a promising suggestion. And whenever our eyes met and it now did ever so often, I’d hold it for a few seconds then drop my eyes coyly. The last week of march – six weeks after I began prepping him, Brother Matthew informed me pastor mike wanted to see me in his office on Wednesday after midweek service. I feigned innocence and asked if it was something I did wrong but Brother Matthew said he did not know why but assured me I was not in trouble.

On Wednesday I did not attend church and I did not go to his office either. My boss Tega, a mean spirited man who hated anybody around him to be happy decided that day to keep us all back to work on a campaign that according to him would revolutionize Nigeria. Working in the creative department of Nexend corp was a dream come true for me. The pay is good – a leap from what I was earning chopping shoe on the streets of Lagos, we even have healthcare and insurance packages. The only bad side and it is truly terrible is Tega, the boss. No wonder him never marry, who go wan tie herself to a narcissistic prick without human feelings? Even with him money, e get some kain cross wey no worth am.

We in the creative department were to come up with pitch ideas of four out of the nine components. Each pitch had an accompanying ad and a nationwide rollout plan. To create a seamless process those working on the project – the IT guys, Creative and Legal were booked into a hotel for the week. In as much as he was a mad man on steroids, he ensured that he provided us with the tools to make us at our best. As long as work is concerned, he would demand your last blood but give you the best.

On Saturday afternoon I got an SMS.

“You have not been to church in two weeks which is unusual. I hope you are fine?” I did not know who the message was from and I was too caught up in work to even bother finding out. The next message came on Sunday abi should I say Monday by 2am.

“Good evening sister Joy. Are you sure you are alright? You can share your burden with me so I can pray for you. Pastor Michael.”

Ah, an! pastor wants me to unburden on him by 2am. Even though I had not had close to 10 hours of sleep since we lodged and everybody was cranky and bone-tired, I still managed to do a little victory dance. This would most definitely be a nice way to release all this anger frustration and tiredness.

“Good morning Pastor Michael. Thank you for checking up on me. Work is a bit hectic that is why. I hope to be at church for Sunday service.”

“That is good to hear. See you in church. Goodnight.”

On Sunday morning we got an email instruction to cancel any church plans if we had made any. We would be adequately compensated for overtime ba bla bla. I did not have any church plans. I know I told Pastor Mike I will be in church on Sunday but as I said, men like him like to do the pursuing and even though it was work that was making me unavailable, it was working in my favour.

It would take another three weeks before we were able to present a “passable pitch” according to the boss. Shey I teh una say my boss na demon? of the Edo type sef. True to his word our salary for the two months came with a 30% bonus for each of us. The hotel bills- feeding and laundry were all paid for by the company. We also got to pick three days off.

I picked Wednesday Thursday Friday so that I could have a long weekend. It also coincided with when Jegede and Stephen would be out of town. I no wan make them pour sand for my garri. On Tuesday evening I texted pastor mike to inform him of my availability for midweek service. I arrived very early and sat at my usual place. I was putting on a flay polka dot skirt with a black turtle-neck body-con and flat shoes. As soon as he climbed the alter his eyes caught mine and he smiled broadly. He was excited to see me and even though I was bone tired I felt more than alive. I was on my feet all through service screaming ride on pastor!. At the end of service, he was swamped by the congregation before I had any chance to speak. Our eyes locked and he gave me a “Please stay” look. I was not sure tho so I picked my stuff and headed for the door. Brother Matthew caught up with me and said Pastor Mike asked to meet him in his office. “But half d church dey there na?”

“The spirit moved in a massive way today sister Joy! But pastor Michael said what he needs to talk to you is very important.”.

I followed silently and was soon swallowed by the sea of people waiting to be blessed by Pastor Mike. I wondered if I was the only one with my specific kind of blessing in mind? Surely with these many fine women who looked less than pleased at the number of people here, we plenty wey need wiping.

I sat at the back playing candy crush. When that did not help I watched funny videos on Instagram. By 9:00pm two hours after service had ended I was asked into the office. He dismissed Brother Matthew and told him it was fine to go home. He would lock up and drive me home. Brother Matthew did not object and if he felt somehow leaving both of us alone together he did not show it.

We sat in silence. He was on his phone typing seriously while I looked at his sanctuary. I had never been inside a Pastor’s office and so did not expect the affluence. This office could easily pass for a governor’s office. It was large with buttoned gold embroidered grey settees. There was an entertainment corner at the large glass windows. A black coffee table with a matching cabinet full of assorted biscuits and teas. There was also a refrigerator I assume had more than juice stashed in. The carpet was a thick grey that matched the chairs and curtains. His desk was a large imposing black thing that seemed to rise and fill the room. It was surprisingly empty. When I entered was there not a computer and files? Where was Pastor Mike? The click at the door answered my question. Before I knew what was happening I was lifted to the desk.

“Pastor Mike” I exclaimed breathlessly.

What was happening? This was going way faster than I had ever imagined. his belt was undone and he placed my hand on his dick. I gasped at the feel. There was a zap of current that crossed from his penis through my hand and nestled deep inside me. I held on to it like it was my anchor. My head felt light and the office began to move in sync with my hands over his fully erect penis. His movements were efficient and fluid.

I was spread on his desk, my panties sodden at my ankles. My breasts were still covered by the body con but freed from the straps of my bra. The sensation of his hands over my erect nipples through the fabric, while his lips and tongue teased my neck and earlobe was beyond what I could contain. His lips replaced his hands while he dug one then two fingers inside me.

I gasped and moaned and shivered at once. I was plagued by too many sensations. He positioned his crown at the mouth of my woman sending blinding fire through me. How can one man be able to draw such forbidden responses from me? Then he stood back and looked into my eyes and spoke to me for the first time since I entered his office.

“You belong to me” and with that, he slithered in. A venomous rattlesnake summoning something dark and unexplored, deep inside my woman.

His mouth snatched the deep growl from coming out. There was nothing delicate or even honourable about how he fucked me. It was unbelievably intense. As intense as any fuck could be. And it was over. Just like that. I was breathless and o so unsatisfied.

He moved out of me to fix himself and I fell to the ground on all fours, sinking into his thick grey carpet. I stayed there unable to connect my limbs to my brain. What was that? I had come here expecting him to flirt with me but still maintain some flair of “being a concerned church leader” Instead I got spread like hot bread just like I wanted. Who am I kidding? this was way beyond anything I had imagined or experienced.

“Maybe next time I would take you from the back just like that”

I was on the floor still unable to move, but he was back behind his desk with an uninterrupted view of my bum. I shook my head as if that movement would somehow gather my scattered thoughts and bring some coordination.

“We would need more time”

I couldn’t move yet my mind was wanting more time? Was it my mind or my still throbbing pussy? I finally got up smothered down my skirt and sat gingerly on the couch.

I could not sleep. I could not eat. I could not function for weeks since that evening at Pastor Mike’s office. There was an intense itch that had come alive in me and only he could scratch it. I may be possessed because I no dey use eye see man again. Be like everybody don turn to wood. Yet he was not available. He was at a pastor’s conference in Lagos and after the conference, he would be heading out to Georgia. As I said, he was on fire for the Lord and in high demand.

My plan on coming to Abuja was to work hard, save enough money to rent my own place so Peace – my younger sister would join me. As the firstborn to a widowed mother, most of the responsibilities of my four younger siblings were on me. That plan had taking longer than expected. Living in this Abuja get as e be. Things dey cost anyhow and since Pastor Mike come, I know how much I don spend on cloth and make-up and perfume. I never add wigs and shoe money.

The evening before he flew to Georgia he called me and we spoke. This was the first time we spoke like really spoke. I tell am the way mumsi face fire after her husband die. The only thing our papa people no collect na her job because even our clothes dem collect am all. I dey Unilag 300 level when e happen. Na aunty Linda; our mama younger sister carry us make we stay with her while our mama find small face me I face you. Peace was in ss1 and dropped out to join my aunty to sell okirika in Balogun market while my mama become petty trader join am with her teaching job take pay my younger siblings their school fees.

If I wanted to stay in school, I was on my own. I started making hair and nails between lectures. I also wrote assignments, tests and sometimes exams for money. During holidays I dey hustle anything wey I fit to get. I don do Usher job, sales girl for boutique, receptionist work before I get marketing and sales job for one big company wey dey sell organic supplements. I do that work on the low make my aunty no know. Na so I begin send my mumsi small small change so that she go fit leave the petty trading. It was at a prospective client’s place that I overheard them talking about a new company recruiting.

The next week I was in their Ikeja office. The recruiter said I fit what they wanted but there was nothing she could do since I was still a student. Even if it was my final year. I began visiting the office every day Monday to Friday until she took pity on me and gave me an internship position. It was very demanding but by now I had gotten used to the madness of Lagos and was able to pull off my sales job, school and the internship. After my last paper, still wet from the celebrations I went to the office to inform Margaret – my godmother, that I was free! two months later I was sent to Abuja to be a part of the new branch.

A month later I went to NYSC camp and Margaret ensured I was posted to work there. The only corp member with that privilege.  He listened intently as I rambled on about my family problems and how one moment life was good and the next moment it had become a living nightmare.

“Now that you belong to me you would never lack anything.”

The way he said it made my scalp tickle. It was both a promise and a threat. I was not sure how to react so I stayed silent.

“I have to go now. Send me your account details. And Joy… be ready for my return.”

He did not wait for a response before cutting the call. The tingle in my pussy was back with roaring force. There was a gaping hole between my legs and I was running mad with desire. I lay awake in bed creating scenes of us together. He said he would take me from the back the next time. My ass jutted at the thought. My body as if possessed arched to give a silent lover access. For the first time in all my life, I touched myself.

I rubbed my vagina walls with the flat of my palms in an up and down then circular motion and imagined it was him there. I removed my nighty and wore the body-con turtleneck I wore that Wednesday night. I touched my breasts and squeezed my nipple between my thumb and middle finger recreating the sensations of that night. I lay on my back and spread my legs wide so that he would fit in. I inserted one finger then another and began moving with what I hoped was the same precision and force with which he fucked me on his office desk.

I licked my fingers to lubricate them before putting them back inside me. The taste of my woman together with the sensations from my breasts pushed me forward. By the time my breathing slowed, I got an alert of 3 million naira from Michael K Damini. His message dropped by 5;00am. “send some to your mum then begin a search for a comfortable place.”

3 million naira? Just like that? The highest money I don receive at once na 250k from one aristo I been meet for Lagos. Na him I been dey use keep body and soul together that year. 3 million naira just like that? And from person wey na fuck carry me? God dey answer prayers mysteriously sha.

On Monday morning I called my mum and told her I was sending her some money. Na beg I carry join make she no fear. I teh am say no be thief I thief am. I tell am say make she use am wisely and by God’s grace I go soon fit to carry Peace make she join me for Abuja. During my lunch break, I went to the bank and sent 1 million naira to her then switched off my phone. Make she calm down fess. I go call am for evening. Back at the office, I was informed that Tega wanted to see me in his office and that he was pissed. I walked to his office and kicked myself mentally. Shey I for no allow my mama make she pray for me cast every evil eye wey wan look my side. He was on his way out when I climbed the third floor.

“Good afternoon sir. You sent for me.”

“Miss Macauley?”

“Yes sir”

“ I am off to the airport now. Remind me when I get back on Friday.”

“Yes sir.”

I stood and watched him leave. This was the first time I was this close to him. The first time we had exchanged words not via email. In my two and a half years of working in Abuja, He never mingled with staff. He was always traveling and the few times he was in the office everybody knew better than to be visible. And so far I had succeeded. So what now? What did I do to warrant him inviting me to his office and pissed for that matter? God help me. Just when it looks like my troubles are over then this??

Same OL Game

Toto Series: SAME OL GAME

The seeds of deceit were being planted and I was an active participant even though I did not know.

The first time he messaged me, I ignored him. He was not on my friends’ list, we didn’t have any mutuals, plus it was a random good morning beautiful. I didn’t even bother to open it. Three weeks later, he messaged me again. This time I went through his profile out of curiosity. His header was a beautiful poem from an unknown African author.

Herbs are not important to the one that only sees weeds.
Fires are dangerous to he who wills it only to burn
Love is never enough for the roaming eyes.

his profile picture was a picture of a man, woman and twin boys in matching outfits. It was a breathtakingly beautiful picture taken at an outdoor event. The woman had strikingly beautiful blue eyes with full wavy red hair that trapped the sun’s rays and came alive. There was a sweet innocence about her. The man- Damian was all smiles in his kente and shorts. His smile was broad but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was clearly well-read and well-travelled. He enjoyed talking about architecture and education. Whenever an argument ensued which seldom happened, he was never forceful or a gloater.

His message, the one that got my looking up posts of as far back as 2012 read “good morning Peace ( I hope I can call you Peace). I am Damian, a Ghanian happily married to Isabelle a Canadian and we are blessed with a set of twin boys. I work with the United Nations and I enjoy reading your thoughts here and I see we have quite a few things in common. Do you think we could be friends?

Sorry for my initial message I totally understand if you hold it against me.

I did not reply to the message but this time I opened it. Small progress. That evening he sent me a friend request together with another message.

Mr D: “Sorry, I know I am disturbing you( I feel like I am). I never get a hint from silent treatment so, please tell me to bug off and I promise to leave you be.”

Mr D: “I also sent you a friend request. Smiley face”

P: “hello Damian. Thank you for the introduction. How can I help you?”

I couldn’t help feeling put off. There was the good morning beautiful message that clearly did not fit with the innocence of the do you think we can be friends bit. Plus what kind of friends would we be? He didn’t need to be in the DM’s if it was as he put it or was I just overthinking this? Then there was the possibility that he could be a scam artist looking to score.

Mr D: “Ouch”

P: “???”

Mr D: “Well like I mentioned earlier, I just wish us to be friends. If that is too much for you, I can understand and leave you be. But know I wish you no harm”

P; “Okay”

Abeg some of these seemingly harmless friendships can end in please admin hide my identity. Before long I’d forgotten his face and all was well with the world.

My wellness was short-lived. One day he is an unknown social media user and the next minute he is everywhere. He is under my friend’s posts with funny witty replies, he is also under my posts but ensures he’s replying to those replying to me and never directed to me.

Our mutuals were now 210. un-fucking-believable. Yet somehow I had gotten used to seeing him on my timeline. Thankfully he wasn’t a nuisance so I didn’t bother.

A friend wanted to sell off a property in the highbrow area of Maitama. If I got a buyer in a week I could get 10% of the total sale. As soon as I posted the property I got a message from him

Mr D: “Hello is the property still on the market?

P: “Good afternoon. Yes, are you interested?

Mr D “Yes, can I see it?”

P: photos.

Mr D: ” I mean can I come to Maitama and see it myself?

P: Hold on let me confirm. When would you want to see it?

Mr D: I will be in Nigeria on the 5th of August. Let’s say the 9th.

P: “This is a distress sale so it is going on a first come first serve basis. but if you are looking for a property in Maitama I could hook you up.

Mr D: “then I’d take it.

P: Wouldn’t you want to see it first?

Mr D: “I like the pictures. It fits with what I am looking for. And at 550 million, it is a steal. The only issue is I would really love to carry out some damage assessment; so that work can commence soon.

P: “let me get back to you.”

On the one hand, 10% of 550 million was good money but on the other hand, if the house was a beautiful hollow shell or a haunted mansion or worst embroiled in some court wahala, could I afford to have my name mixed in such drama? Seeing that the house could easily go for .7 billion naira. after having an honest conversation with my friend I could confidently begin planning how to spend my 550 thousand naira.

P: “Good evening. You won’t need to do much repairs except if you are looking to remodel. This is actually a steal.”

Mr D: “Great. Just mail the papers to me at and we would proceed from there.

P: “Sounds good to me. Expect an email from”

And just like that, the deal was done. No back and forth, no jumping through hoops, no extra fanfare. He even sent an extra hundred thousand which according to him was for making the process easy for him. Damian is the kind of clients God should be sending abeg.

P: “Good evening to you. I wanted to ask if the house was to your liking. Any feedback you give is highly welcomed.”

I’d contemplated sending the message a million times and each time I rejected the idea. He said he would be in town from the 9th, but by 20th I had not heard from him. I messaged my friend and she said he had moved in already. For real? Well, the least he could do was let me know, right? On the 31st I drove past on my way to visit David’s lounge- fantasy and for whatever reason, I parked my car and watched maybe his nanny or relative drive the twins out the gate. I watched as she passed me oblivious to my existence with the boys screaming along to Phyno’s man of the year. Why was I bothered? Shey I should be happy that it was a clean deal and focus on getting more deals? So why couldn’t I shake off his silence? I shared same with David who looked at me like I had a spider on my face.

“When last did you get laid?”

What the hell Dave! How does this factor here please?”

I’m serious. Shey if you were getting good dick now you would have time to be worrying if some random stranger sends you a message or not.”

“You won’t understand. This was the same man who couldn’t leave my inbox and now all of a sudden is AWOL? Plus he is in Abuja, as in the same city with me ooo.

“Did you want him in the DM’s?

“No. But…”

“Then I don’t see the problem.”

I wanted to argue further but I knew it would be futile. David would never understand. He was such a straightforward no assumptions guy. The waiter, a fine-looking man took my order while Dave excused himself. This was his baby. A lounge that was home to everyone looking to escape the insane Abuja hustle. A place of no judgements and knowing David, that’s exactly what he was offering. The lounge wasn’t officially open but he’d opened his doors to a few patrons sort of like a listening party to feel the pulse of what people actually want.

“Still looking at my waiter?”

“Well it is criminal that you put these fine men to serve sex-starved women such as myself”

“He’s gay tho. But hey! I’m here whenever you need serving”

“I’ve got your number. Might use it someday.”

On the drive back three hours later, I somehow found myself parked across from the street again. Must have been there for about 10 minutes before realizing how insane what I was doing was. How did I go from ignoring his DM”s to stalking his house? how??.

Mr D: “Good morning Peace, so sorry it has taken this long to get back. The move has been hectic. I am officially in your city!! perhaps when you are less busy you would show me around?

O no he didn’t. The move had been hectic? He had been in town for over a month and his excuse was the move? After he had left my message on read twice! I was pretty upset and didn’t know how to react so I didn’t respond. Let us all leave each other on read.

Mr D: “I sent you something for the weekend. I know how busy you have been lately. You can go to a spa or retail therapy.”

Mr D: “I hope you don’t mind. I know I should have asked first.”

I had seen the alert of 300 thousand from a Nexend corp. almost two hours ago. I had even contemplated going to the bank to find out the sender before EFCC would knock on my door saying I’m an accomplice to some crime I didn’t commit. 300k for a spa day or retail therapy just like that? I had still had not replied to his request to show him the city and truthfully I had been busy with my pet advocacy project as well as exams prep. Somehow he had been pushed to the back and now suddenly he was back. Why did he send me the money? Did he feel some type of way or was he trying to buy my good graces? But with 300k?

P: “Thank you. It was unexpected but I am grateful.”

I felt a little guilty about putting him on read but I couldn’t speak on that now that he had sent me money. Before he would think the money was persuasion. Since he didn’t reply, I returned to exam prep.

The weekend after my final papers he was back in the DM’s which wasn’t strange. I was in celebration mood so I decided to indulge him.

Mr D: “Congrats on your final paper. How are we celebrating?”

We? Must be speaking French.

P: “My friends and I are going to Ghana to celebrate.”

Mr D: ” Sounds like fun. Do you mind if I send you something for souvenirs? ”

Mr D: ” Don’t say no. I know you can handle yourself, just a little something okay?”

P: “ Thank you. I don’t mind.”

P: “The trip is for Tuesday, maybe we could hang out this weekend if you are free.”

Mr D: “I am out of town. Maybe when you come back from your trip. Is that cool?”

P: “ Sure.  But what took you out of town? Hope all is well?”

Mr D: “Yes and no. But don’t let me bore you. Congratulations once more.

P: “It is fine. I am here if you wish to talk.”

Mr D: “Maybe some other time. Good night.”

I got an alert of 700k from him 3 minutes later. Ghana would definitely be turnt. My coursemates and I had contributed to have a weekend trip to Ghana to celebrate 6 years spent for a 4-year course along with all the other “colourful” things found in a Nigerian tertiary institution. We figured having a final year dinner was not enough to wash away the trauma we had endured for the certificates we were not even sure of getting.

Ghana was amazing. We swam and danced and drank and did all we needed to do. Our motto was what happens in Ghana better not come back to Nigeria. By the time we arrived at the airport on the fifth day, we had experienced our version of a Vegas weekend. I sent Damian a message to thank him for making Ghana a truly enjoyable experience.

Mr D: ” Are you back yet?”

P: “Not yet. Our flight got delayed. Still at the airport.”

Mr D: “In Ghana or Nigeria?”

P: “ Ghana. We are at the Kumasi airport.”

Mr D: “Why? You should have gone to Accra instead. When is the next flight?

P: “ I honestly don’t know. We have been here for close to three hours.”

Mr D: “give me your number. I could arrange a private jet for you. How many of you are there?”

P: “We are six of us. 08030012877.

Mr D: “Got it.”

Courtesy of Damian my friends and I had our first private jet experience. We took pictures and drank all the champagne on board. By the time we arrived in Nigeria, I had become a mini-celebrity. It is not every day you get saved by a man with access to a private jet.

In Lagos, there was a limousine waiting for me with instructions to ferry me to the Lagos boat club. There I met Mr D. he was even more striking than in the pictures. He was large. I don’t know heights but he was way taller than me with broad shoulders and an almost invisible neck. He requested I waited for him to finish up his meetings then we would fly back to Abuja together. Did I wish to rest or go somewhere? I opted to rest and was driven to Westwood. His meetings lasted well into the evening so we couldn’t travel that night. He invited me for dinner at the restaurant but I could barely eat. Everything felt surreal. He told me his story. He was a pro basketballer who didn’t quite go pro because of a knee injury. He however had an eye for raw talent and became a scout. After a few years of doing that he decided to go back to school but ended up joining the military and became a member of an elite international squad. That was how he met his wife Isabelle.

He was generous with praising his wife. She was his anchor and had stuck with him through a tumultuous time and now that she had blessed him with twins he wanted to give her the best. We talked into the night. The next morning by 9 am he sent a message, he should be done with his meetings by 12 noon so he would book our flight for 5pm to factor in any other delays he may experience. The limousine was at my disposal to do with as I wished. I went to Balogun market and bought clothes to come and sell to my school friends and Facebook followers. I had an eye for great fashion pieces so picking clothes in vogue that will sell asap wasn’t a problem. By 3pm I was back in my hotel to freshen up and pack. I ordered for light lunch while I packed. By 4:45 pm I met up with him at the airport. He said he had a few more stops so I brought his luggage from his room.

In Abuja, he disappeared again. He had my number and I had finally accepted his friend request. I sent him a message to thank him for saving myself and my friends in Ghana but a curt no problem was his only response. Did I do anything wrong to him? Was it the clothes I was posting on my timeline and stories for sale that was the problem? I had gone over all that transpired and I couldn’t fathom what it was. Then out of the blues, he was back.

Mr D: “Hello Peace. How about that hangout you owe me? Do you think this weekend works?”

P: “ This your disappearing acts na wa. Where did you run off to this time around?

Mr D: “I’m sorry. I will explain when we meet. Suggest a cool place for a drink. I will send my driver by say, 7pm.

P: “Okay. I will send directions to my place. See you at 7pm.”

That was when he revealed to me the woes of his marriage. On the outside they were perfect but the cracks in their marriage could fit an alligator. His wife had become disillusioned with his constant travelling. She had accused him severally of cheating and when that didn’t stick she accused him of being gay. After their sons were born she totally shut him off and even filed for divorce before succumbing to pleas from family and friends.

How can such a sweet man be cursed with a woman who couldn’t stand the sight of him? He was great looking with a very strong sex appeal. He was generous and kind and clearly adored his wife. My pet project deals with women who are seeking to find the spark in their marriages, to heat up the coals that had gone cold. Here was this man who clearly still had the hots for his wife but was being shut out. I gave him all the advice I had, we both spoke to sex therapists and gynaecologists who attributed her coldness to many factors including the birth of their twin boys. He was advised by professionals to continue being kind and thoughtful in his pursuit of coitus.

He became busy with a new project of his and he requested I stepped in. He got me a phone that was a clone of his and I began interacting with his wife. I’d ask about the children, remind her of her appointments, send her thoughtful gifts on special days as well as random days; all the things she had held against him because of his busy schedule. By the time he came up for air, she was eager to have him at home and in her bed.

I felt like a god, working my magic in the shadows, seeing how she had turned from a bitter spiteful woman to a blooming flower. As a thank you after a successful weekend of them closed off just the two of them, he sent me off to Dubai to shop and unwind.

As soon as I arrived, he was at the airport to pick me.

“How can you be so busy and still come to pick me up from the airport”

“I must say, you have made me realize what is truly important and to make the effort.”


We drove to a popular buka for some much-craved amala and ewedu ensemble. We ate and talked – I listened as he spoke about this new project. It was revolutionary and a part of me felt giddy knowing him and being a part of his vision even by proxy.

It was 7pm when he drove down the road to my apartment. We sat in the car in silence. “She is not moving back. She is staying back in Ghana with the boys.”

“I am so sorry…”

His mouth swallowed the rest of my comments. His lips trembled as he sought comfort. I kissed him back. His hand cupped the back of my neck and drew me closer. Thank god I had removed my seatbelt so I could move in closer. He stopped jerked off as if from a trance and sat back in his seat. He adjusted noisily and cleared his throat.

“Ummmm… I am sorry about that. It is just…”

“It is fine.”

I dropped from the vehicle and watched him drive off. What just happened?

I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. The way my entire body responded to his trembling lips. My God! My entire headspace was filled with wanton thoughts of the feel of his hands; the way the balls of his fingers rolled over my neck as his kisses got deeper. What was wrong with me? He on the other hand was acting like nothing happened. He didn’t fail to insert his wife and kids into our conversations. It was all good, we both knew that the kiss shouldn’t have happened.

Mr D: “SOS”

MR. D: “I missed our anniversary. I am out of town, won’t be back till tomorrow. HELP!”

P: “Ouch!”

P: “Did you have any plans?”

Mr D: “None. Totally slipped my mind. This new project has taken over my life.

Mr D: “Brb.”

Mr D: “I will call you in an hour”

I watched the clock on the wall wishing the time could pull a Usain Bolt. I tried to distract myself with the work on my desk but my mind was hell-bent on the wall clock and my phone. After almost two hours of fidgeting, I got a message.

Mr D ” It’s been settled. Talk soon.”

Huh? What the hell? talk soon? Not after I had made calls to cake shops and flower vendors. Not after putting my bolt guy on standby in case, it got too dark out. It’s been settled. The way I was invested in this man’s marriage you would think that was my great commission.

I had too much pent up feelings and I knew no amount of work would distract me. I called the bolt guy, I needed a drink or two. There was that open invitation to fantasy. It won’t hurt to enjoy some male company and David fit the bill. Devilishly handsome, rich, well connected and had a crush on me.

The interior of fantasy had been properly crafted to make it look spacious yet welcoming. The lights were mellow and the air was filled with heady woody scents. The exterior made you eager to enter, the exterior made you too comfortable to leave. I went to the bar and ordered a dirty martini then texted David.

He came, all smiles and hugs.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

Well, I wanted to surprise you. Surprise!”

You almost surprised yourself because I was about leaving”

Whew! With the amount of pent up energy, I had, not meeting  David would have been a disaster.

He invited me to the back away from the music and people. He informed me four back rooms were catering to various clients’ needs. Where we were going he said was exactly what I needed. Well, lead on mister.

As soon as I stepped in I was immediately transported. The room was like an old southern diner complete with a jukebox machine- I’d never seen one of those in real life. this room was for those looking to indulge in some nostalgia or those like me who have some romantic scene stuck in their heads. I was transported to the bodyguard starring Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner. All that was missing was an unknown stalker.

You bought the coins needed to use the jukebox. Four coins cost a thousand naira and you could only play two songs. I played Jolene by Dolly Parton and moved to the forlorn melody. David watched me spin imaginary binding cords in the air from the skirting shisha smoke floating upwards. I played out the resigned fate of the singer. The knowledge that she would always be second best but still appealing “ don’t take my man even though you can”

“You are a beautiful woman. I now understand why this room is a hit at Fantasy.”

I sat beside him and took a sip of my drink.

“What other rooms are there?”

His eyes dropped to my lips and slowly rested on my ample bosom covered now with a thin film of sweat. I followed his eyes and escorted them back to my face.

“They are occupied at the moment. And just like this one, you need to experience it instead of being told.”

I nodded and collected more coins. David had worked many jobs on his way up the ladder, one being a bartender and from the flow of exciting flavours and perfect blends, he must have been in high demand. I played “I’m every woman” by Whitney Houston and “sexual healing” by Marvin Gaye. There were thousands of songs to pick from; songs about money, pussy, weed, old-time love, war, everything. This room, the escape; the old romantic hues of brown, orange, ox red, the amazingly tasting liquor that kept flowing and David. The ever-smiling great conservationist who had joined me to dance to busy signal’s missing you. To hell with Damian and his talk soon. If he imagined that I would be huddled in some corner waiting for him well he thought wrong.


How the hell did I give this man such power over my thoughts? I could be thinking of doing the dishes and the image of him would intrude. Why did I suddenly feel empty without him? Here I was having a good time and yet I was wishing it was his perfect white dentition shadowing mine. I wanted his hands on the small of my waist and not David’s. It was our bodies meant to be moving to the magic in Busy signal’s voice. And just like that, the magic was gone. I was back in my seat a sulking heap.

“Can we go?”

David had been nothing but a fantastic host and I hated what I was doing but I could not stay here a minute longer. He didn’t push. He only asked if I was sure. That was something about David. He never pushed. He believed that a woman should be as eager to be with him or nothing. “We matching energies or nothing at all” he would always say. It was cold outside. I had planned to stay till around 11pm max 12 but here I was by 2:00am wrapped in David’s coat waiting for my bolt guy. He’d insisted on dropping me off but I insisted back. I did not want to have the awkward conversation of whether he should come in or not. Even though he wasn’t that kind of person, there was no need to push him.

The drive back was sober. My bolt guy who was usually chatty was silently humming to Sinach played on low volume. Why couldn’t I match David’s energy? Why didn’t I feel more than a deep appreciation for him? When I first arrived in Abuja, he was there for me. A solid friend who housed me for four months before I got my own place. He was the one who connected me to my first billionaire client. I wanted fireworks and wildfires. I wanted Damian. Damian was unpredictable, sleek and passionate. You never knew what was coming up next with him.

“Small Madam no be house you dey drop?”

“Sorry. Na here I dey drop. How much be your money?”

“Small madam, na normal way”

“Okay. I go transfer am give you for morning.”

No wahala small madam. Good night.”


I hugged David’s coat closer to wad off the biting wind. In the cold night, the road to my doorstep felt like the great wall of China. The heaviness in my heart seeped to my legs as I trudged on. As I put my keys I saw my plants move. I didn’t wait to see what was behind them. I flung my purse and shoes and ran off. Whatever it was had legs and was following me too.

“Jesus!!!! Jesus!!!”

What is wrong with you? Would you stop running… and screaming!”

What the hell Damian! What are you doing here? Jesus, you scared me!.” He gripped my arm and wordlessly pulled me back towards the house. He ordered me to open the door while he picked my purse and shoes. Inside he flung my purse and shoes and pulled me into him. I felt the rush of blood flood my entire system blocking every sense I had. His chest heaved with every breath he took, crushing my puckered breasts. My throat was dried and I began trembling in anticipation of what was to come.


There was no foreplay, no sweet words spoken, nothing. He pulled up my dress, pulled down my panties and inserted his humongous dick into me.


I felt like I was being split into two! He was pounding into me and my scream was stuck in my throat along with his dick. I stiffened as he continued his assault. So this is how I will die? Split into two by the Thor of dicks! No wonder his wife was unwilling to move back with him. The poor woman had escaped murder. He grunted off after he was done while I lay there still shell shocked by the last 5 minutes.

“What the fuck just happened?”

“I know right?”

“You know you just raped me in my house, right?”

“O please., rape? Isn’t that far-reaching? So I was overcome by jealousy mixed with fear since you were not picking your calls or replying to my messages…”

“And that is enough reason to come to my house and rape me?”

he was up and pacing my living room. My eyes widened as he spoke. Was he being serious?

“I didn’t rape you. You know you wanted this as much as I did. Don’t pretend you didn’t know that we would end up fucking. If I rushed it, I can make it up to you now.”

“Get out.”

“O come on. Don’t be like this. Do you want me to apologise? fine, I am sorry. I am sorry that I am in love with you and I can’t think straight. I am sorry that ever since I came across you on Facebook I have been plagued by the thoughts of you; your mind, your body, everything! There I said it”

“I said get out!! get out of my house before I scream and wake the neighbours. Get out Damian; out!!!!”

How did I let this happen? How did I not see this for what it was? The monies, the “o I love my wife and want to please her routine.” It was the same ol game and he had played it to perfection.

I texted David. He said he would be at my place in two hours. I used the time to clean myself and my apartment. I allowed the heat of the water to burn my skin. I scrubbed off Damian until my skin was tingled and raw. I then proceeded to the kitchen to make my Sunday special. Pancakes. I mixed the flour, pinch of salt and sugar, and baking powder together, then the butter, milk, eggs and vanilla extract separately and kept it. I filled a bowl with an array of fruits; strawberries, blueberries, diced bananas and pineapples. I poured a generous amount of yoghurt and placed it in the fridge. Back in the room, I put on my most racy underwear. A red matching lace set I got on my trip to Dubai three months ago courtesy of Damian. I suppressed the image of him. Forced him out of my mind and mentally prepared for David’s arrival. We matching energies or nothing. That was his creed and I was going to match his energy. David sensed something was off immediately. I never served him. We treated each other’s homes like it was ours. But here I was wrapped in a silk robe pouring honey over his steaming pancake. he could never resist my pancakes and I watched as he wolfed the pancakes. By the time I brought the bowl of fruits he knew where this was heading to. He ate slowly as if tasting the various flavours, savouring the contrast of the tastes and textures wrapped in creamy goodness. While he ate I unwrapped my robe and stood before him. The look of surprise was replaced by the unmistakable heaviness of desire. He sat back in the seat, the bowl of fruits forgotten on the table.

He watched me for what felt like a thousand years before he stood up. he walked up to me slowly, watching my face for any clues as to what my intentions are. I told him.

“I want you to fuck me. Don’t ask me why just fuck my brains out”

“Are you sure?”


He searched my face to give me a chance to back down. But I didn’t. I NEEDED THIS.

He lifted me and took me to the bedroom but not the bed. He had always said my bed was too soft for any serious action. He teased me that that was why I never got any action. Since I moved in a year ago, no man had slept in my bed. No man had fucked me until last night.

He made love to me first with his eyes, then his words, then his hands and tongue before his dick. This man that I had shunned for so long, this man that I didn’t know could ever make me feel passion brought out the woman in me and I was a believer.

I didn’t know I could cum just by having my breasts worked on but by the time he had gotten to my soaked panties, I had come twice.

I tried to close my legs to shut out the sensations. I was drowning in the puddle of my own making and I wanted it to stop. He used his broad shoulders as a wedge while he continued to eat me out. I felt the spasms rock me from my little toe right through the tip of my hair. As my breathing began to normalize and I gradually made my descent back to earth, he straddled me. His dick was wet and shiny with a thin film of pre-cum dripping off. I watched as he used the tip to wipe my clitoris. His movements were a mixture of fast and slow building up momentum with every move. My body had taken on a mind of its own and was responding like a duet. My legs that had shaken from earlier spread open as he dug into me without entering. His face was contorted as he concentrated on giving me pleasure. I had cum twice, on the verge of the third yet he shone gloriously not in his release. My throbbing grew erratic. He must have sensed it too as his free hand shot to my nipple forcing me to erupt gloriously. That was when he entered. His haggard breathing, a testament to his own pleasure. He pinned me to the ground with his fingers wrapped around my neck and rode. He began slow, too slow. Working my vagina walls, ensuring he filled me up completely. David was big, but I welcomed his full length. The way he filled me up, perfectly like he was made just for me. His veins served as tentacles conjuring unbridled sensations as he pushed in and out. Fully in, halfway out.

The ta ta ta ta rhythm grew faster and faster and the fireworks beckoned. My juices mixed with the smell and feel of him.

“Oh, You’re so juicy! Fuck! Fuck ME! URGHHHHH! I’M COMING URGHHHH!! ”

I thrust my hips forward and spread wider as his groans filled the room. I held him inside me while his body shook. This man is delicious abeg. Why did it take me so long to get here? Why did I have to go through the beast to get to my knight? Here I thought David was safe. Not knowing he was blue flame, the most dangerous of them all.

I wasn’t sure what this was. How we would go from here. I had not seen beyond this moment. I knew I would have to deal with Damian soon enough, I knew we would have to find a way to make this work. But for now, I lay on my back holding tight to David. Satisfied in the now.

No body is off limit part 2

Toto Series: Nobody Is Off-Limits (PT 2)

“Make sure you are tipsy…I will handle the rest….”

We had not spoken in close to two weeks and in the middle of the night, I got his message. I was instantly aroused! Shet! Was he back? When did he expect me to get tipsy? It is 3am.

“Are you back?”

“Not yet. On the 20th. Did you get the apartment?”

“Not yet. I am not sure I can get it before the 20th.”

“I miss you!”

“I miss you too”

“Use this to keep warm till I come.”

it was a video of him jerking off to P. Daddy’s I’m coming home. O Lord save me! The camera was angled to show just the crown of his dick. It was shiny and red. I have never seen anything quite like this! As he pleasured himself he commanded me to feel his release. To clench my pussy walls as he raided me. As his long manicured hands rolled over his dick he asked me to spread wider to feel him deep inside of me. “I WILL FUCK YOUR PUSSY SO HARD!!! ARGHHHHH… YOUR SWEET FAT PUSSY IS DRIPPING WET FOR ME!!! MMMMMMM…… URGHHHHHHH YOUR PUSSY IS MAKING ME…AHH…AHHHHH…AHHHHHHHH!!! FUCKING SWEET PUSSY!!! LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!! SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME…

I curled up into the tightest ball and prayed for daylight. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep or even function after watching the video. The way his voice rose and fell to the stroking, the perfect timing of I’m coming home. Even the way the sperm spread around his fingers was poetic. I wanted this man to do all the nasty things he could imagine to me! And I wanted it now.

By 5am, I had watched the video over 20 times. I made sure to take my phone to the shower and played loud music so the girls will not hear me pleasure myself. It was not enough. Nothing but him would be enough. I saw a missed call from Mama as I walked into the office on Friday. It had been three days since I sent her the money and I could not ignore her forever.

“I no go touch this money until you tell me the real source of this money. Where you get this kind money, Joy?!!! Egbughị m nne m ya mere ị gaghị egbu m.”

I knew my mum would flip out as soon as she saw the money. Me sef I be mumu. I for dey send am small small make she no suspect anything. How did I go from sending her 30k or 50k to 1 million? Me sef! But I was excited that I could send her that kind of money. After all she had been through and all she had done for us, she deserves to enjoy.

“Ah! Mama what is all this now? Shey I tell you say na my savings plus bonuses wey I gather send give you? ị zụlitere m ka m bụrụ onye ohi? Oya, since you will not use it, biko send it back. I get use for am”

I hated that I was blackmailing her like this. I knew she needed the money. The state government had not paid in close to six months. Chidera; our last born was recovering from a terrible illness that was like a black hole. No cause of illness, just swallowing money. Mama had gone to all the prayer houses in Asaba plus native doctor join- Chika was the one who told me, Mama would never admit to being that desperate. How could I now tell her it was fuck money? Fuck money from pastor sef?

“Chukwu gozie gi nwa m nwanyi. ihe niile ị na -eme ga -aga nke ọma. Chineke ga -enye gị ezigbo mmadụ na ọtụtụ ụmụ. Chukwu gozie gị.”

“Amen”. It did not matter what it was, but as long as Mama prays, she must include husband and plenty children. Usually, I will argue but today, I was happy she was happy. I was relieved when she told me about Chidera’s illness and how He was not getting worse and that is great news. If not for the illness, he would be going to ss2. Chika had graduated and was helping mama run the shop.

Mama prayed for me some more then she handed the phone to Chika who requested a phone for her birthday. “nke mere na obere ụmụaka ga -akpọ gị abi?” I teased and Mama echoed a “help me tell her ooo” in the background. I made a mental note to actually get her a phone. She had graduated with 7 A’s and was the best graduating student in her class. She deserves a phone.

I had dreaded Friday because I did not know what to expect. Nobody had a clue as to why Tega, my boss summoned me or what had pissed him off. I held on to my mother’s prayers as I went up to his office. His assistant Joan informed me that he was yet to return from his trip and she did not know when he would return. She advised me to relax because “if na something wey you do, him for don address am sharp sharp!.” In the Lagos office, I had witnessed his ruthlessness. He had sacked someone for attending a client pitch without a tie. Na real demon this man.

The next two weeks were a blur! Work was hectic and I still had to make out time to look for an apartment, attend church and act cool so that Jegede and Stephen would not notice anything. Those nosey bitches can sniff gist eh. I hoped that by the time they connected the dots I would be far away from their judging eyes and snide comments.

“I will be arriving Abuja by 9pm. I will send you an address. Don’t forget what I said”

“How can I? I can’t wait”

The girls and I met at Domino’s for pizza and ice cream. Make them chop proceeds from my iniquity. Jegede was also celebrating her promotion. Looks like her kneeling before men finally paid off. As we sat in the cool Abuja evening, laughing and teasing and making fun of other patrons, my mind was on the things Pastor Mike was going to do to me. I kept glancing at my watch as the time ran.  “This one wey you dey look watch since ogini?” Stephen with her mouth full asked. “You no see say rain dey come?” I answered. “Abeg chop quick make we go” “Abeg make she chop am slow because I no sure say she go get another one chop again this year” that was Jegede and we all busted out laughing. Even though I hated to admit it, I would miss them when I moved away. After our meal, I told them I was headed back to the office. This was the perfect cover because they knew how unpredictable my boss is and how random my work hours were. Jegede dropped me off at the office. They still had more celebrating to do. I walked upstairs until they drove away. It was 8:15pm. I went to my station to wait. I figured since I had time I might as well do some work before he called.

I took out my coffee mug from my drawer and my bottle of Amarula from my bag. I bought four mini ones for easy concealing. Irish cream got me horny and gave me extra oomph. Not that I needed any help getting horny.

“Working late nights?”


“No. Not Jesus, me.”

I bolted out of my seat like a spring toy with new springs. I felt for the switch on the wall and was grateful for the sharp intrusion of the fluorescent lights.

“O my God sir you scared me”.

“if you scare easy, Maybe you should have switched on the lights”

“Yes sir. Sorry sir, I did not want to waste electricity. Or draw attention to me, sir.”

What was he doing here by this time? And how did he walk all the way to me at the last cubicle and I did not hear him? This hallway that can make noise. He was looking at me with a scowl on his face. I was wearing a mini wrap dress with flower patterns. I had skipped on underwear and wore sandals seeing that I was ordered to be tipsy. Which was mission accomplished. I glared at him but said nothing. He is wearing a t.shirt, shorts and black leather sandals.

“What are you working on?”

He is looking at me from head to toe like he was studying a storyboard. The scowl is still there yet he looks curious.

“Getting tipsy”

“Okay. And how is that going?”

“Pretty good. If this was a pitch, You would love it”

The words just dey tumble out of my mouth before my brain get time process wetin I dey yarn. Which level be this? Which kain juju be this na? Me wey been time everything to perfection? I been smoke loud by 7pm because e dey take me like two hours before e hit. Then I join am with Irish cream so that by the time Omo Pastor arrives, I go dey very ready for am.

“Care if I join you”

“No sir. I was just rounding up.”

“Are you scared of me?”

well dudh? Who is not scared of the devil? Wetin even make me use this office lie? Shey I for dey house if I know say this girls dey comot.

“I ask because you have been standing since I came here”

“You are also standing. Are you scared of me sir?”

He laughed heartily and drew a seat from the next cubicle and sat. He then gestured to me to sit. I sat and crossed my legs in a bid to cover myself but made it worse. My dress pulled up to almost my waist revealing my yellow thighs. I was always self-conscious of my thighs because of the reactions I got. This is the kind of dress mama would say you can see a woman’s uterus from.  He smelt nice. He smelt of expensive aftershave and freshly ironed clothes.

somehow He did not look so intimidating sitting opposite me in the harsh fluorescent lights.

He was in his mid-forties but could pass for someone in his mid-thirties. There was a boyish charm about the way he smiled and the way his eyes penetrated my soul was unnerving.

“Can I join you now?”

Why was he making small talk? what was he doing in this office by this time wanting to share in my liquor? He took a sip from the mini bottle I handed him and I watched as his Adam apple jumped. Something jumped inside me.

“I want to fuck you”

“You do?”

“I want to fuck you.”

“Are you sure you can handle me?”

“If you promise not to fire me”

“If You can. I will not fire you.”

I do not know if it was the weed or Amarula or the way he smelled or the fact that I was horny day in day out for the past two months or all of it. But I was sitting opposite my boss telling him I wanted to fuck him. He must have plenty of such offers for him to sit there drinking my Amarula as if we were talking about the weather. My phone’s ring tone broke the silence. It was Pastor Mike. He was sorry his flight got cancelled because of the weather. He would be with me tomorrow. He was back in his hotel and wanted us to have phone sex because he missed me so much.

“If you were here, what would you do to me? I asked loud enough to get Tega”s attention. he looked at me eyebrow arched and a devilish grin spread across his face.

“I am wearing a mini wrap dress” I removed another mini bottle and handed it to him while I opened the last one for myself.

“I do not have anything under. Should I take it off?”

He sounded huskier than normal. Was he also high? Was he also as horny as I was? he had suggested a video call because he wanted to see me but I explained that I was in the office and the lights were off so we should stick to audio and Tega switched off the lights. Damn!

“No, not yet. How tipsy am I? I repeated everything he said while Tega performed the actions on me.

“You want to start from my toes? Mmmmmmm, drop tiny kisses up to my thighs?” But I did not want slow. I was too strung out for slow kisses and tender lovemaking. I wanted to be fucked ruthlessly like the way Nigeria fucks its citizens. I told pastor Mike just as much. Phone sex would not cut it tonight. He understood because he felt the same way. “Just Be ready for me” was his final remark before he ended the call.

“Let’s go to my office, the desk is higher.” It was an order, not a request.

I picked up my bag and put the bottles and my mug inside and followed him in the dark. I made for the stairs but he ordered me to the elevator. Staff were not allowed to use the elevator. It was only used when he was around which was seldom. We did not speak in the elevator and the journey up made me feel nauseous or was it my growing fear? What had I gotten myself into? This man that is mad and unpredictable? This man that could throw me out in a blink and life would continue? And now it was too late to go back. What was it he said, If I can handle him I won’t lose my job? How I sure say even after I fuck am dey way im want him no go still fire me? Wetin go happen if im like am? Which kain juju be this na?

It was 9:15 pm when the elevator doors opened. I do not know why I checked the time. If only Pastor Mike’s flight had not been cancelled I would be on my way to his place. I should have just waited till I reached his place before smoking that weed. Shege loud.

We entered the office and he ordered me to stand by his table. It was dark and I had never been inside his office before but something in his voice propelled me forward. “It is on the left to the wall” And you could not say until I hit my toe? I limped on using my hands as a brace. The cold from the tiles mingled with the uncertainty of what would happen next sent shivers through my body. I found the desk. Actually, my toe found the desk. The ooooouucchhhhh was barely out of my mouth when he shoved a glass filled with liquid and a commanding drink it followed. I took a sip. It was hot drink. Strong but properly distilled. Must be expensive whiskey.

“Drink all.”

I obeyed. As the liquid burned its way down my throat, he bent me over his desk and thrust in. I choked and began to cough violently. he shoved a water bottle in my hands and ordered me to drink up. How does he move so swiftly and silently? I searched to see if his legs were touching the ground. My head felt light and the weed had kicked in. I was grateful for the cold water. My feet were still bare on the tiles but I could not feel the chill anymore. I could not see him but I felt him watching me. A light came on from a side lamp by the chair facing the desk. He was sitting there with his glass of dark liquid.

“take off your dress”.

I untied the wrap and let it fall at my feet. His face was in the shadows so I could not see him or his reaction. I crossed myself with my hands. The cold was like a lover’s hand covering me all over. I shivered.

“Spread your legs”

I obeyed and spread them. The voice of pastor Mike echoed in my head. “You belong to me”. and the way he fucked me played in my mind. Tonight was his fault. He was the reason I was here. Get tipsy I will take care of the rest. Where are you now pastor Mike?

“Touch yourself”

Tega’s voice sounded distant. Like those old Chinese movies where a Sensei or ghost of a loved one is visiting. I felt like smoke floating in the dark. It felt like I had split into two and I was watching myself through a grey veil. The same colour as the grey in Pastor Mike’s office. I watched as the me by the desk cupped my breasts with both hands. My palms felt warm against my cold skin. My nipples were already hard from the cold and now they felt good to touch. I watched my veiled twin squeeze them and I felt the growing warmth course through my floating body. The room was also warming up and I became bolder with each stroke.

“I want to see your face. I want to watch you watch me.”

He stood up and walked towards me. My breathing became erratic as he got closer. There was something about him that was both scary and unbelievably sexy. The way he moved like a wild cheetah. His movement as if ready to ponce yet so casual. His shorts gathered around his crutch stretched by his very visible erection. God, why am I not his shorts right now? He carried the glass from earlier and disappeared. How is he able to function so well in the dark? I know it is his office but still? And so silently. A demonic cheetah. He reappeared with the glass half full this time around and I gulped it down.  He sat with the drink in his right hand and his dick in his left. I resumed my movement but this time was fuelled by my own desire for release. I was in the tape with Pastor Mike. I was spread wide like he wanted me to be. My fat wet pussy swollen with desire was there for his taking. I put my fingers in. One. Two. Three… it was not enough. I wanted to reach the place deep inside me where he had touched and possessed me. I leaned against the table to give me more access. Tega stroked in sync with me. I watched as his face twisted in pleasure. His lower lip was slack as he increased his tempo. I pushed myself up till I was on my tiptoes then I spread wider so that he had a better view of my pussy. I slowed down. I spread my vagina open using my fingers so that he could see my juiced hole. He froze dick in hand staring at me. There was something animalistic that was unleashed in me. It was almost like I was possessed. “Are you sure you can handle me?” I spat his words back in his face. Daring him to do his worst.





One minute he was frozen on the chair dick in hand and the next moment he was flipping me over and ramming into me. He held my hips in place and impaled me. “YES! FUCK ME HARD!!! TEAR ME UP!! TEAR THIS PUSSY!! FUCK ME!!!” he kept ramming into me while I nudged him on. He was slapping my ass so hard but all I felt was wild pleasure. His dick was not as big as Pastor Mike’s and it did not quite reach where Pastor Mike’s own reached but it was better than my fingers and served well…

His fingers dug into my flesh and pressed me lower forcing me to arch dangerously as he rammed deeper. “YES!!! FUCK ME DEEPER” I screamed. He released my hips and forced both my hands to my back. With one large hand, he held both of mine folded up and his other hand circled around my neck and squeezed.

I welcomed the numbness.

No body is off limit part 3

Toto Series: Nobody Is Off Limits (PT 3)

"My rules are simple. I don't do feelings. I don't share. And Never keep me waiting."


What the hell have I got myself into?

I woke up to a splitting headache on the 21st in the most uncomfortable bed I have ever slept in and had no recollection of the night before. All I could recall was being bent over Tega's desk.

Before that, I was at my cubicle putting the finishing touches on FLINT - my dream elite dating site idea. Thankfully the curtains were drawn and the lights off. My eyes stung and they felt like someone poured gravel inside.

What happened last night?

Persistent knocking on the door forced me out of the covers. I was naked and sore all over.

What the fuck happened last night?

I used the covers to wrap myself and answered the door. It was room service. The lady said she brought in breakfast as instructed. It was a complete English breakfast with coffee. I was grateful for the coffee and gulped it down. The burning liquid cleared some of the gravel in my eyes but not the growing fear in my heart.

My phone was on the bedside drawer. It was 7:00 am. There was a note telling me to check the wardrobe for a change of clothes and see you at work.


I was lodged at Shard, which was a stone throw from the office. The place was hidden but really beautiful. If you did not know about the place, you did not know about it. I clocked in and went to Wuse 11 market to meet Hajara.

If I was going to get through tonight with Pastor Mike, I needed help. I sat in the backroom in her smoke chair and forced myself to focus on Pastor Mike. My body felt like I had been forced into a gravel mixer. Everywhere hurt. Inside and out. I drank Hajara's special Kayan Mata mixture, got some pills and headed back to the office.

Back in the office, there was a note waiting for me on my desk.

"My rules are simple. I don't do feelings. I don't share. And never keep me waiting." It was from my boss- it was the same handwriting as the one on the bedside drawer. I tried to focus on my work but I could not. Two phrases kept chasing themselves in my head.

"You belong to me." "I don't share." 

What was I to do? Pastor Mike had given me 3 million naira which was going a very long way in helping my family out of its woes. Tega on the other hand had my life in his hands. This was a dream job. It provided me with the level of security I needed. Plus he was not the kind of man to mess with at all. Would Pastor Mike be able to help me if I quit my job? What if I told Tega I was not interested in being with him? Did he not give me his word that he will not fire me if I fucked him the way he wanted?

I tried to push all except pastor Mike from my mind but try as I did I kept wondering what happened last night? How did we move from his office to Shard? Where there other stops before then? Where did I get the bruising on my body? How did he get the clothes for me and in my size? A beautiful flower print top with a black pencil skirt and red bottoms.

Moreover what is with the cryptic cold handwritten messages? Did he not know we live in the 21st century? But try as I might, I kept drawing blanks.

I called Pastor Mike and he busied my call. I texted him to call me when he got a chance. After work, I went to see a few houses that my "agent" had scouted for me.

My budget was 800k. I could move to 1 million if the place was worth it. So far; none of the places I had visited met Pastor Mike's liking. It was either the location or the lack of light, security or a combination of all. These new houses were in Gudu.

The first house was a boy's quarters that looked like the former landlord was a herbalist or something. The walls all over the house were blackened with spots I hoped was not dried blood. The second house had one toilet in the master bedroom and none in the other room or for guests and the ceiling was so low. I literally had to bend to enter.

The third house located just a street before a lovely looking cafe called out to me. The street was a quiet picturesque place with trees lining up the nicely tendered lawn. The buildings here looked new and well-tended. The rooms were sizeable with three toilets. One in each room and another for visitors. It was located on the second floor and boasted a 24-hour water supply and the sitting room area had a lovely view of a lake.

The only problem was the house was going for 1,700,000.00 and if I wanted the place I had to pay two years upfront.


It was 6:22 pm and Pastor Mike had not replied to my message or called me. I called again and this time it rang out, no answer. Did he know about last night? Was he alright? I did not like the silence one bit.

'I will be coming by in an hour. Be ready."


It was a message from Tega. I was grateful the house was empty. The girls had gone to church and will not be back till around nine. Hopefully, I would have handled this particular problem of mine.

I did not bother to dress up or get ready - whatever that meant. I go run am street today. Abụ m ada nne m. Amughi m ewu. 

He arrived 5 minutes to 7pm. I watched him drive up to the house. Who told this man where I live? He still had his grey suit from work. The tie was gone and the first two buttons were unbuttoned. I came out before he knocked. As soon as he saw me his countenance changed. His upper lip curled into a snarl and his eyes became hooded. In the dark, he looked like he was merging with the darkness. Growing bigger. My heart went cold. Who is this man bayi?

"I said to get ready."

He said the words slowly, biting the words making it sound like a slow hiss. There was no going back. I tried to stand straight - all six feet two inches to show I was unafraid but I knew every fibre of my being was screaming RUN!

"I did not feel the need to."

I ignored the tremor in my voice and stared into his face. He was staring back with disbelief. I guess nobody ever questioned his command before. Well... here was always me.

The snarl slowly disappeared and the darkness surrounding him receded. He gave a wryly smile and nodded his head. Without a word he turned and went back to his car. I stood and watched him drive off. I began to tremble as he turned the corner. Jesus Christ!. What was that?

I jumped at the sound of my ringtone. It was Pastor Mike. He was in church but he was not leading the service. He wanted to know how I was. I assured him I was fine but he did not believe me.

"Text me your address, after church I would come and see you."

He cut the call before I could object. What is it with this Abuja men na? I did not text him and I switched off my phone before another godforsaken message would enter my phone.

What am I to do?

By 9:30pm Jegede and Stephen busted into the apartment in excitement. I was not in the mood and stared blankly at them. I was watching Home Alone part 2. Childhood movies were my go-to source of balance. It took me back to when things were good. To when My father would take us all out whenever he got back from the sea and when we got home in the evenings, he would allow us to stay late and watch all the American films he always brought with him. I always looked forward to his coming home. Mama did not flog us and we ate ice cream and chocolates till our stomachs hurt.


They kept staring and I just wanted to get back to my happy place.


Jegede enthused. I rolled my eyes and played back my movie. I was not in the mood for guessing games. If they had fainted under anointing or even spoken to Jesus personally that was their business.

"Wetin dey worry you? dem dey ask you make you guess you dey behave like wet fowl." Stephen chided.

"If una no go talk abeg go find wetin to cop leave me alone. I no get time to guess anything today."

"Mtcheeeeewwwwwwww. Biko comot go meet ‘YOUR OGA’ pastor. Him dey outside."

Stephen shot at me as she walked to her room. I did not miss the stress on “your oga pastor.” I looked at Jegede who was all smiles. Pastor Mike was here? Wetin dey work these men na? First na Tega now Mike? In one day?

I walked out to see him standing by his car. He was wearing a grey suit on a white shirt. His tie was missing and the two top bottoms were undone. Just like Tega. I forced my mind to focus on the present. His smile was small. Almost unsure and I was in his arms before my mind knew what my legs were doing.

He tactfully dodged my kiss and set me back on the ground. He held my shoulders to still me and he looked me over. "Are you doing okay?"

I melted at the concern thick in his voice. Now I was okay. I did not realize how much the past months had taken a toll on me. My eyes stung with relief. There was no yesterday, no tomorrow. Just me and this man that had come to mean so much to me in so little time.

"Your roommates are watching."

"Let them. You coming here has already nailed our coffin."

His laughter was sunshine to my very bleak day. His shoulders heaved as he laughed. I watched him and something deep in my woman uncurled. My pussy walls clenched and unclenched along.

"I am no stranger to rumours. Did you get a place?"

"I did but the rent is 1.7 million oooo. Including service charge and all, but that I have to pay for two years".

"Do you like the place?"

"Yes. And you will love it too! It is quiet and peaceful. Away from the noise and hustle of the city and It is very secure. There is private security for the estate."

I could not contain my joy. The house is beautiful. Mama would love it. And Peace can finally come and stay with me. I want here to write WAEC and if she passes she will sit for JAMB. It was exactly what I wanted. Plus it was about 30 minutes into town so I could still go to work and do all the city things I needed. He silently watched me gush about the place. That is something about him that I love, the way he listens and provides. He somehow makes me feel secure.

"Let us go there."

"What!! by 10:00pm? No now.

"Call your agent and tell her you want to see the place this night. How did you find her?"

"From Facebook ooh. She puts the houses on Facebook. That is how I met her."

"Call her."

And I did. 30 minutes later we were standing inside the apartment looking out to the lake. He looked so handsome in the faint light coming from outside casting an ethereal feel to him. I studied him as we moved from room to room. He looked preoccupied as if fighting some unknown battle and I just wanted him to take me right here in the cold empty room. To bury whatever was bothering him deep inside me and forget it.

He asked Peace- the agent to leave the keys and to expect an alert by morning. I allowed them to talk and went back to the room where the pallor would be. This would be my home. I did not know how to react. How did I get so lucky? I looked back at him and wondered how he would react if he knew that this whole thing began because I wanted to fuck him.

Maybe Jegede and Stephen were right and I am heading straight to hell complete with bodyguard and AC. I was back at the window overlooking the lake and I could not hold back the tears. I felt his hands hold me and I lost all control. I cried at my betrayal. I cried for seducing a man of God. I cried and he held me firmly.

"Do you want to tell me what is going on?"

We drove back to my place in silence. He had comforted me but did not ask any questions. When the crying stopped he took me back to the car and drove away.

"I do not know. The money, now the house. Nobody has ever done anything for me like this. It is just overwhelming." There was no need to mention Tega or the gnawing guilt I was feeling. He studied me for a minute before speaking.

"I care deeply about you Joy. There is something about you that gets me. I feel like I can be myself. Truly be me around you."

We sat in his car and spoke about random things until it was 2am. I watched him drive out and waved till he turned the corner.

"My office. Now."

I ignored the message and continued what I was doing at my cubicle. If he wanted to talk to me he would have to come down from his high horse and speak like a normal human being. I no dey do.

I half expected to be turned back from the gate. I got Janet the office gossip a box of assorted cookies and milked her of all the information I could get. So far there was nothing about anybody getting fired and nothing about the tryst in his office either. He was going on a trip she said with his long time on-again-off-again girlfriend to the UK. I prayed he would get stuck in some sinkhole and leave me be.

Joan; his lanky assistant came to summon me. I told her I would be right behind her but she said I was to follow her immediately.

The inside of the office was empty and cold just like the owner. There was no carpet, just cold black tiles sprinkled with white tiny stars. The AC was on full blast. I shivered. Apart from the large imposing desk, there was a settee, a side drawer with a lamp and some documents on it then a fridge.

He was standing by the open fridge when he commanded us in. He dismissed Joan and told her to hold his calls.

"Miss Macauley" He began without looking at me. His voice very cold and professional. That put me off guard. I was expecting a showdown and I had come prepared. "Following our earlier agreement, you would be placed on a 20% salary increase which would move you up to the position of junior creative director. This does not usually come with any other incentives but having gone through your file I have decided to give you an official car.”

"Thank you, sir. But I respectfully decline the offer as I have no recollection of said agreement."

He was back behind his desk and he studied me closely trying to gauge if I was lying. Then he whistled and came to stand in front of me.

"How much of that night can you remember?"

"Not so much sir. And I would rather never to remember."

"Now I feel like an arse, Miss Macaulay. And that rarely happens." He looked so young up close.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"I shook my head but did not speak. I could feel the build-up of tears and I did not want to turn into a hot mess in front of this man. How did he go from threatening me last night to offering me a 20% salary increase including an official car? What exactly was his game?

Well, whatever it was, I do not want a part of it.

"Listen, I am very good at reading people and giving them what they want. All this time, I felt we were on the same page now I know better. The salary and official car have nothing to do with what happened the other night even though you did drive a pretty hard bargain. So, if you would not see it as some insult as with everything else that I have done, it is yours."

"And if I refuse?"

"Then you refuse." He shrugged and turned to his computer screen. After a moment he turned back to me. "Miss Macaulay, I do not know what you know about me but I assure you that I am not a vindictive person. I very well know how to draw the line between business and everything else".

Now, I felt like the arse. Of course, I want the pay rise, and the new position means I can put some of my creative ideas on actual display. I have worked hard. Never taken sick days or come late or not given my hundred per cent.

"I do not remember the events of the other night yet I feel it hanging over my head. I am not this girl. I was high and drunk and I don't know what happened, But I promise you that is not normal behaviour for me." I took a deep breath to steady myself. I was not going to cry or grovel or beg. "I deserve this promotion and I want to get it the right way."

"Okay, and how would be the right way?"

"definitely not because I fucked you right."

I struck a nerve. The snarl was back. I saw a flash of that look close to my face. I felt the hot breath of whiskey on my face and I felt him deep between my spread legs. The images hit me and I stumbled backwards.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes sir."

"How about this. There is a review coming up in the next three months. External reviewers would be in charge so you don't have to worry if fucking me right would affect the review one way or the other. Would that make you feel better?"

"Yes sir."

"Then it is settled."

"Thank you, sir."

Nothing felt settled as I went back to my cubicle. We fucked alright but that was not the problem. It was how the images made me feel. Why was my body covered in goosebumps? Why was my pussy wall clenching from the memory flash? Plus after the conversation in his office, I was not so sure what I felt about his guts.

Janet was at my desk when I returned.

"What is going on? This is the third time you have been up there to see Oga."

"My dear e taya me oooo." She had given me gist and was here to collect. Whatever I said or did not say would circulate in a matter of minutes.

"You know that is how Sade got fired. She started going into his office frequently and before you know it, she was fired. Some people said he got tired of her if you know what I mean."

Everybody knew about Sade. She had tried to seduce him and got fired for it. Her father was rich and well connected and she thought that would work in her favour. She thought wrong. He had called an emergency meeting and dragged her by her pubic hairs.

He had used her as an example to all those who may want to seduce him to gain any advantage. The next week, she was gone. Did Janet know more than she was telling or was she trying to get me to say something?

"Ehen? I thought she left because she got admission in the UK na."

"Lai lai. Na Oga finish am throw for side like old rag. She just lucky say her papa get money ni."

"E good to get money for this life ooo!"

I punched my keyboard and prayed she would take a cue and leave my cubicle. If she got the hint, she did not act on it.

"You know say review dey come up soon ba. Make you sha play your cards well my dear."

"Mama, which cards I get to play? Oga was only following up on the campaign rollout we worked on. Nothing else."

"I hear you."

Of course, she knows about the review and the way she brought Sade's gist? I might as well go up and fuck him to my heart's content. Because whether I get the promotion or not, it will be because I did or did not play my cards right.

Fuck me!!!

Toto Series: Nobody's Off-Limits (PT 4)

His tongue darted inside of me. The way it moved like a slithering viper all around my wet throbbing pussy. I held on to the window bars with my eyes shut. There was no way I was going to let any distractions affect this moment.

Pastor Mike had been away for most of August, and I was busy with work and moving into my new appointment. Who knew that furniture shopping was this tedious. I had to make it comfortable for myself, Pastor Mike and my sister.

He was specific about his needs for the bedroom. He wanted thick drapes, thick carpets and enough room for his clothes. I had gone to Kano for the curtains and carpets, Lagos for the furniture and Jos for the décor. Tega was not around so I took the allotted two-week sick leave. As soon as he travelled to the U.K I developed a high fever.

Money was not a problem as long as what he wanted was gotten. By early September I had moved into our love nest as he fondly called it. Peace had not yet joined me because I was unsure how he would react to having a family member join me.

He had sent me a cryptic "tonight, get ready for me" message by 5pm. I had run to Hajara in Wuse 11 for a quick sit at her smoke chair and the usual dose of Kayan Mata. Hajara was a Petit woman who didn't miss any detail. Throughout my one hour stay there, I had avoided any conversation with her and hoped she would not try to give her usual unsolicited advice.

By the time I arrived home in the rain, Pastor Mike's car was already in the parking lot. I made a mental note to give him the extra key. He had brought red wine that I was grateful for. I needed to take the edge off. He poured the wine as I got into dry comfortable clothing. It had been close to two months since that faithful night at his office. I suddenly felt out of my wits. I did not know what to expect. Did he still want me on all fours? Now that he had paid for this house, was I to act like his mistress, his wife or just a girl he happened to fuck on his office desk. It was as if he had premium access to my thoughts.

"Joy, please don't act so stiff with me. The money and house mean nothing if you treat me as a stranger."

"Why would you say that sir?"

"Well, you call me sir for starters. Why don't you call me Kayode? I am human you know?"

"I know. It is just.."

"You knowing is enough, Joy. I want you to see me as a human with needs and desires just like you." I doubt if he had desires like mine. At least one particular desire. But I kept quiet as he went on.

"Most people see me as Pastor Mike. You know? And expect me to be perfect. To be a saint, but I am not. I am a man, and I hope you see me as a man. As someone who has been dreaming of having you in his arms for so long."

The way he spoke; so earnestly reached through all my misgivings, straight to the part of me that had dreamt of him too. He looked so tired and I imagined how difficult it must be for him. Preaching and healing and being perfect every damn time while all he wanted was to be given the same grace as every human. Omo Pastors dey sha hear am ooo.

I dropped my wine and walked over to his side of the couch. I collected the glass from his hand and stood him up. I wanted to lead him to the bedroom where he could show me all about being human. But he shook his head.

"I want to fuck you in all the rooms in this house. From this place to the bathroom. In all the ways imaginable, Joy. Do you want me to?" the way he said those words, so soft and innocently. my body came alive to each syllable. I wanted this man and the way I wanted him was almost spiritual. it was as if he had planted something in me that awakened to his bidding. I whispered a feeble "I do" that was buried deep in the deep of a thunderous thunderclap. We stood looking into each other's eyes as the raindrops heavy with promise pelted the roof.

He made me stand as he undressed me. Pastor Mike who had brought many people to their knees on the pulpit sunk to his knees in front of me as I stood stark naked in my living room facing the lake. He kissed my laps as his hands cupped my voluptuous behind. He kissed my shaved Pussy and I swayed at the sharp current that irrupted from my woman to my brain, and back to my woman.

"Hold the bars and watch the rain as I pleasure you"

I obeyed and held on to the bars as he went under me. He ate my pussy as no man had ever done. He knew exactly what to do and when to do it. I held on to the bars with my eyes shut as thunder and lightning rendered the skies their home. Wo! If thunder strikes us now, Jegede's prophesy would come to pass and I would have a straight ticket to hell.

His tongue plagued me. The way it moved like a slithering viper all around my wet throbbing pussy. I held on to the window bars with my eyes shut. There was no way I was going to let any distractions affect this moment, even thunder and lightening. Wo! Omo pastor sabi lick plate clean die!. By the time my cries of passion mingled with the thunderclaps outside He was on top of me and inside me. I laid on the thick carpet I purchased from Dandalama markets in Kano as he entered me.

There was a place only he could reach. Somewhere deep inside my woman that neither my hands nor Tega could reach, He could with comfortable ease. His dick transported me from my room, above my roof, to beyond the clouds. I was floating to his slow sensitive stroking which was a total deviation from our first night in his office. While he thrust deep and fast in his office, here in my living room overlooking the lake, in the pelting rain; he was slow and deliberate. He was making love to me. And I was reeling from the feeling.

Later that night as I snuggled to him, I told him about my intention to invite Peace- my sister to join me now that I had a two-bedroom flat. "As long as she will not be a problem" He offered. I assured him that Peace would not be a problem.

"How old is she?

"She is 22 years old but way older than her age. After our father died, we all had to mature beyond our years. Plus living in Lagos; if you no shine eye, oyo for you oo"

"Are you sure she will not be a problem?"

"I promise you, Peace is well behaved and you will not even know she is here."

"Do we have to make a decision now?"

"No sir."

"I've told you to call me Kayode, not sir. I can't believe you are calling me sir after we just fucked."

"Well, any man that can make me speak in tongues the way you do, deserves to be called sir."

"I am the only man for you, Joy. The only man."

"Yes sir. But am I the only girl for you?"

My answer was a well-placed smack on my buttocks. He added another slap before his hand covered my breast. He was not in a hurry and I did not interrupt him.

His hands went to my pussy while his mouth enveloped my breasts. I allowed my hands to travel round his body, familiarizing myself with every contour of his. His skin was as smooth as a baby's arse. We were both naked under the sheets in the bed yet he did not penetrate. He was whispering to me in Yoruba, while he suckled on my breasts, he breathed -o ti sa si mi; as he hovered over my pussy -O ti sọ mi di ẹrú, mi o le yi ju pada He was back up my neck, and up my ears, speaking between nibbles - ara rẹ je jẹ kin ma sọ isọkusọ- Whispering random phrases in Yoruba that I did not quite understand.

I climbed him when he would not enter me, even though I was ready like yesterday. I positioned myself above him and sat slowly. I swallowed him slowly, inching tentatively until all of him was inside me. I adjusted, to make myself comfortable then I began to ride. I mimicked his slow movements until the sensations spurred me on. He held my waist and moved in sync with my momentum. Being on top of him gave me control. I guided his shaft through all my pleasure stops. His grunting, telling me, he was getting just as much. My cum spread over his cock as he pulled out of me hurriedly and flipped me on my side. His cum spread on my navel. I opened my eyes to watch him as he stroke his cock to bring forth his cum. He was a fair man, and his dick shone red and glorious in the moonlight. Somehow I wished he had cum inside me. To watch his seed grow inside me. As I watched his final strokes, I envied his hand and my navel because they had what I did not have.

Pastor Mike- even though he insisted I called him Kayode and I fell into a steady routine. He came by the house on Tuesdays and Thursdays to make passionate love to me, then on Wednesdays and Sundays I attended church and urged him on with ride on pastor and yes. He did not look in my direction as he used to and even though we were now an item, he did not invite me to his office again. It was like I had fallen from the face of the earth. Until he came to our apartment, then I was the most precious thing he owned.

He had not given me the go-ahead to bring my sister yet, so I spent most of my nights alone. And when I tried to complain he said it created the right amount of tension so that I appreciated the time we had together. Even though he still came around and provided my financial needs, I could feel him drift away from me. Was he tired of me? Had I become so domesticated that he had become bored with me? Did I need to switch things up, Make things more steamy in and out of the bedroom?

I needed to push out these thoughts from my head and focus on the review coming up in six weeks. Tega was back and was constantly in a foul mood. Everybody knew better to avoid him even more. After a spectacular fail at a pitch, I stayed back at my cubicle to come off with something redeemable. Seeing that I had insisted on this pitch, it was left to me to sort out the mess.

"Working late again"


"Again, not Jesus, Just me"

Tega was bent over my shoulder but I could only see his face as the whole office was in darkness except for my cubicle.

Sir, you scared me. How long have been here"

"Miss Macauley, if you scare easy, why do you always insist on working in the dark?" I heard the laughter in his voice but somehow I was pissed more than I was scared. This was the man that had given me a thorough bashing this afternoon but was here bending over my shoulder joking with me. I was glad the lights were off so, He did not see my killer stare.

"I must have been carried away, I did not know the lights had gone off." I tried to explain and move out from under him but instead, he adjusted and leaned even closer. His perfume was heady, Strong and woody like how a man should smell. He was still in his suit from the day but he smelt clean and fresh. I got another flash. I was tied to a bedpost. I tried to turn away but the ropes tightened against my arms, forcing me to lie still. Then a sharp pain began from my brain except it was a whip that landed on the soft insides of my thighs spread over me and thrust me back to my cubicle. He was speaking and pointing at something on my desktop computer but I did not hear a word he was saying neither did I see what he was pointing at.

"What the hell did you do to me that night?"

"Nothing you did not consent to."

Is this man for real? I have never dreamt of being bound not to talk of being whipped and this man is bending over my shoulder and answering me as I asked him if the sun is still out.

"How dare you say I consented to be whipped.? I was fucking high and you took advantage of me. What did you do to me!?" I could not help shouting. I shoved my seat back and pushed him out of the cubicle. The darkness had swallowed him so it was only his voice coming from the void.

"Again, nothing you did not consent to. I have the video you know." the video? What video? What type of sick twisted man is this?

"What video?" My voice sounded small and feeble even to me. I was standing at the edge of my cubicle staring into the darkness and hearing what might well be the voice of the devil telling me he had documented that God awful night that I don't remember.

"This is not how I saw this night going. I was in my office and I noticed you burning the midnight oil and decided to come and have a conversation over wine. I don't know why you are hell-bent on making me pay for what you and I wanted."

. "I never wanted any of this," I answered. I had no fighting left in me. How long was I to blame the weed and the drinks and Tega? At what point would I look into the mirror?

The lights in the office flickered on. He was standing in the middle of the corridor holding a bottle of red wine and two white disposable cups. He looked angry and tired. His hair was the customary fade low cut but his beards looked like they had not been trimmed in weeks. He had a sprinkle of greys that seemed to grow wild, giving him an edgy look.

"Look, miss Macauley, I am tired of this. We fucked. It is a shame you can't remember but we fucked like two consenting adults and you need to get over it okay!." With that, he stormed out. At the bend to the stairs, I heard the sound of shattering glass.


I sat at the back of the church. After the images from my flashback, I felt too sinful to sit at my usual place. The service was uncharacteristically short and did not hold the usual fervour associated with Pastor Mike's services. I also noticed there were empty seats which were also strange. After service, I went to his office. There were fewer people here too, and they did not look eager to see him. What happened? I had not attended church for three weeks but he still came over as usual and he never mentioned anything amiss. I passed Bro Matthew who looked up at me but did not object to my jumping the line to enter the office. Was that pity in his eyes? I entered his office and heard the sounds. I froze. I must have been in a trance. It must be some twisted cruel joke being played on me because there is no how I am standing here while pastor Mike plummets a woman on all fours.

"What the hell?”

It took them another few seconds to notice I was in the office and a few more for it to register.

"What the hell is going on here?!! Pastor Mike, I said, what is going on here?!!!”

"Sister Joy, o my God I feel so embarrassed. Why did you not knock?

Sister joy? Since when did I become sister Joy? Last night as he shook and came inside me I was ibi aabo mi and now, I am sister Joy?

Before the words left my lips he introduced the lady as Florence, his fiancée. "Sister Joy, you have not been in church lately, you must have missed the announcement". I must be cursed. What is it with Tega and Pastor Mike? Why did I always have to encounter both of them on the same day? Pastor Mike has a whole fiancée and I find out when I see him fucking her on all fours. Is that why it was her and not me? Because he got to take her on all fours? I could not talk or move. I just stared. Stared at sister Florence in her red gown with creases from her visit to his soft grey carpet. I stared at him in his navy blue suit holding her hand and smiling at me with such sweet innocence as if he had not just shattered my entire world. I had come here to be on all fours but I guess Sister Florence beat me to it.

At first, I did not know the sound was coming from me. I turned to the door to see if someone else had joined us but there was no one at the door. The cackling persisted and Brother Matthew entered the office. For the second time, I lost my hearing. I was being escorted out of the office and those at the waiting area all looked on in sympathy or was it pity? Bro Matthew took me home, to my former place and the cackling was my companion. Jegede came out and saw me. They exchanged a few words, again I was lost of hearing. She spoke to him some more before leading me inside. She took me to her room and ordered me to drink a mixture with a strong odour. "E go make you sleep" she assured me and I gulped it down. It tasted horrible. Just like my life. Her room began to float and I welcomed the numbness.

I woke up to Jegede's frantic prayers. She usually prays at 4am. I joined her and prayed. I prayed for forgiveness. I deserved all that I got trying to seduce a man of God. This was my punishment for all my wrongdoings.

By 7:45am she brought breakfast for me. It was hot akara, bread and pap.

"No be wetin you expect abi? Shey as him spread you like this fresh bread, insert him bloccus like this my sweet akara wey I just fry, come produce better ogi like this one. The after no be wetin you expect abi?"

I shook my head as the tears tricked down.

"You know?"

"Everybody for church know about una. I been think say you know about sister Florence, na why you stop to the come church."

"I no know."

"Wetin you go do now?"

"I no know."

"Oya chop quick make I go drop you for house make you prepare go work. Shey, you still dey go work abi?"


"Oya chop make we go."

As soon as I entered my apartment the reality of my situation hit me. Pastor Mike had a fiancee. He would be getting married and it was either he cut me off or I would become his mistress. If he cut me off, I could not afford this lifestyle. This house alone cost more than 7 million naira. Not to mention the monies he has sent to my mother. Where I don see this kain money before? Plus with the current friction with Tega, I was not sure I had a job to fall back on. Even though he had told me he was not a vindictive person, how sure was I he had not been pushed to the wall.

"I've been in an accident. I fell down my stairs."

I sent the message to HR and switched off my phone. I curled into a ball in my bed and let all the tears in my body leak out.

Toto Series: MY LANDLADY

Do you have a girlfriend?

“Does it matter?”

“Yes. If you are going to be living under my roof, you must abide by my rules and that includes no girlfriends.”

“In 2021? I can’t have a girlfriend come to visit me in the house that I am paying for.?”

“Those are my rules, you can either take it or leave it.”

This is 2021. I always thought it was women who had a hard time finding an apartment if they were not attached to a man. Here I was, after roaming through several locations closer to campus and finally finding the one apartment that fits my needs and my landlady abi would be landlady is telling me that part of her rules is not having girls visiting me and lights out is by 10:00pm.

“I leave it ma. I have a girlfriend. Maybe I should move in with her and save this money for better things.

“Ehen? Until she reminds you who’s house it is, then you would understand the value of having your own house.’

"I know that. But what value is the house if she can't come and cook a pot of soup for me or keep me warm now that this weather don gets as e be? Mama, you sef check am out. You be family woman. You suppose know-how e dey be.

“Hmmmmmm. Okay. If you promise say na one girl only. I be family woman and I get small children na why I dey put all these rules. I no want make una come spoil my children for me biko.”

“Mama, I be your boy. Take me as one of your children too. As you see me so, na one babe I get. One babe pere.”

And that was how I began living in Madam Gladys’ house. She was a tall well-built woman with bleached out features. I believe she used to be a fine young woman. I guess running a beer parlour and having a retired soldier who serves as the area drunk as a husband does wonders to the beauty of old. What she lacked in physical beauty she more than made up in attitude. Madam Gladys’ was kind and welcoming and never missed an opportunity to gift. It did not matter if she had 10,0000 naira or a stick of carrots. If you met her on the highway or in her tavern, she always had something to give away.

The first time Halima- my girlfriend came to visit, Madam Gladys brought a pot of Banga soup she had just finished preparing. We had exchanged pleasantries and I introduced Halima to her as my girlfriend.

“Ah! Awwal, you have brought a woman to this house?”

“Mama, She is the one I told you about. This is my Halima.”

"Wow. And she is so beautiful. Halima, welcome fa. Awwal has told me so much about you that I feel like we are sisters. If you don't mind, I brought this soup for him. I made enough so that the single people here can have some homemade meals." Of course, Halima did not object even though I knew there was hell to pay when Gladys left. I had told her of my first encounter with my landlady but did not furnish her with the details of how we had gotten close. I did not mention that I now tutored her children in Chemistry and Math. I did not also mention that she allowed me a free beer and a plate of pepper soup every Friday evening. Halima can read meaning into everything and I did not want a situation where if I told her she would tell me to stop.

“Awwal, I know when a woman wants something and she clearly does. How come men are so blind to the obvious.”

Halima had waited until late in the evening. When I had carefully undressed her. She was in my bed with my mouth over her breasts when she decided now was the time to talk about my landlady. I ignored her and tried to salvage the mood but she was hell-bent on ruining it.

“Awwal, ina maka magana ama don nema’n gindi baka ansa ni bako?

“Hmmmmmmmm. Kin san kowai in na kale ki pharpadia na ka ma ni. Tabas ke maiya chi.”

“I am serious. What does she want from you?”

“I am serious about the way your skin feels tonight. Please Halima, I have missed you, did you not miss me too?”

I recaptured her knob sized nipples with my lips. Halima was like those girls who did not want foreplay too much less they showed pleasure. She also did not show pleasure even when she orgasmed. She would then wake up in the morning and act like I had condemned her soul to hell. It was a routine I was used to, but I still went out of my way to see her squirm. To have her hold on to the bedsheets or in some cases, latch on to my back so tight, it left welts. I remember the first day I convinced her to give her head. We had spoken about it for close to a month. I had given her enough time to talk about it with her friends and to read about it. I came over after classes and we hung out with her friends until six PM. I excused myself and bid her friends' goodnight. By 9pm she called me to come back. Even though it was 202certain things remained the same. Even though we had sex, and spent the night in each others' rooms, we needed to be undercover.

I smelt the incense, thick and potent in the air when I arrived. She offered me kunun aya and bananas and she smelt of Umra. I drank the kunun aya and ate the bananas she offered. She was wearing her silk robe- the one she wore when she was crazy horny or we were fighting and she wanted to make amends.

I stood up and went to the loo, there, I drank a potion of the honey mixture Tijanni swore would make my tongue turn to Zuma. I had never given a woman head before. I don't know why I had asked Halima sef. Before now, It was almost taboo for a man to give a woman head. But my guys always talk about how their women are dicmatized and can't leave them because of how well them sabi eat their girls out. I decided to also eat Halima out so that she will never leave me.

I came out of the bathroom and she was in the kitchen clearing the dishes. The lights in the room were switched off. I took off all my clothes except for my boxers and went to her. I held her from the back and kissed her neck. She giggled and protested but did not push me away. My hands roamed her body and it registered she was not wearing anything underneath the robe. Shege Halima, she was looking forward to tonight as much as I was.  I guided her to the bed but she insisted that whatever it was we would do needed a soundtrack. She was a romantic so she played some Hausa guy who sang about the loneliness of having to live without his second wife.

I lead her back to the bed and guided her to lie while I knelt down on the edge. She was so nervous, I felt her shakes even before I touched her.

“Halima, I am not going to hurt you. Please don’t fight me.”

"I trust you Awwal. This is new for me, that is all. But I trust you."

I knelt between her legs and hoped that Tijanni was right. I looked at her spread before me and wondered if I made the right choice. What if I was no good? What if Tijanni was wrong and she did not like it and she never spoke to me ever again? I darted my tongue and tasted of her woman. I had watched enough you-tube tutorials so I let that guide me. In no time, I was holding her thighs and following her prompting. That night I learnt two things. Halima loved head, and she was loud.

After that night, she would insist I give her head before we sexed. I watched too many videos and drank so much honey I was more than confident that she would never leave me.

One Friday evening, I was gisting with my landlady and I mentioned how Halima couldn't have enough of my tongue. It was not my fault really, I had drunk two bottles of smooth that night and it had given me a certain level of invincibility. my landlady listened with such attentiveness I think it was not much my story but how it made her feel.

After that day, I  noticed she became even more friendly. Sometimes she will come to my door as early as 5 am. She would look me over then leave. No word said.

“You sure say you sabi do all these things you dey talk so?”

"Mama, na your boy ooo. I go tell you wetin no pure?"

She had resorted to giving me two bottles of beer and a plate of whatever pepper soup I wanted. Isi ewu, Fish, intestine or cow tail. She would ask me about my week but was only interested in the parts with Halima and more importantly, the parts that included me and Halima getting down. I knew that and I made sure she was happy every Friday. It did not matter that I and Halima had been fighting for weeks over the pot of banger soup she had brought over. Or how she had come the morning after by 5am to invite us for devotion. It did not matter that we were of different faiths and did not attend devotions. Halima kept eyeing her the whole time how she spent preaching about the sin of fornication. No, I always told her how we fucked in empty classes and dark staircases in school. I painted beautiful pictures of how we would then go to her house and I would watch her remove her clothes one after the other. On the occasions I was feeling really in the mood, I would tell her how Halima would take me in her mouth real slow. Tasting the textures and feeling the corners of my dick as she gave me head. Halima had also learnt how to swallow and on the days we had quickies in dark staircases, she would just at the right time, turn and envelope me inside her wet warm mouth and draw out my fluids.

On one of such Fridays, she asked me to wait for her till closing time. She offered me my usual but I declined. I did not want to be intoxicated while I prepared Halima's Surprise party the next day. Everything was set but I still did not want to miss any details. Halima had always wanted her 22nd birthday to be grand and I wanted to deliver.

“Wetin you just dey do for your phone since eh”

"Na school work o" I lied. I knew she did not like Halima and she looked stressed already."Come help me small na, abi you no see say na only me dey shop today?" I agreed and plugged my phone to charge.  By the time she closed by 10pm instead of midnight, I was exhausted and grateful.

She invited me to her house but we went through the back. She said she did not want to wake her children up and when her husband was not around like today, she usually went through the back. I followed her in the dark as she unpacked what she brought. I listened to her move about as she told me about her family and how she never knew she would ever work in a joint again after she watched her mother do things when she owned her own joint.

I am sure she must have guessed I wasn't listening so she went quiet. After a moment, the lights came on to reveal my landlady in a thong.


“Please don't call me that. Call me Lizzy. I no be your mama.”

She was always in boubous so I felt she was overweight or had so many folds. But the woman standing in front of me was stunning. Her breasts laid bare before I was still perky even after three children. Her stomach was fleshy but did not look out of place in contrast to her hips and ass. And boy did she have an ass for days. I could not help it. I stared at her as she stood in the doorway to her kitchen.

“You fit handle me?”


I walked to where she stood and stared.

“You go stand dey look ni abi you go begin work?”

I buried my face in her ample bosom. She held my face to her chest while took deep breaths. She smelt of cheap cologne and firewood. Her skin felt like satin; smooth and slippery as I rolled her hands over her buttocks.

"Biko, leave that one bia rie ọtụ m". She moved to the dining table pushed to the corner of the kitchen and held her large food coolers. She removed the thong and climbed on it. The table creaked and dipped dangerously but did not give way. How was she able to arch this way?

I went to work as she ordered. How do I begin to describe how she tasted? My hands could not go round her to keep her from wiggling but I did not mind because her movements gingered me on. She tasted like spices mixed in honey with a drink of palm wine to top it off. She began to speak incoherently and I intensified what I was doing.

I climbed onto the table and said a silent prayer it will not cave in. It didn't. If her skin felt like rich satin her pussy was even richer! Her juices rushed to invite me into her perfect moulds. I dug in and did not want to pull out. I was overtaken by jinn. It was like she was sucking my spirit through my dick and with each thrust I was nearer to be enslaved. I thrust deeper, faster, wilder till I erupted and fell unto her cushion-like arse.

"Ah! You no lie oooo. See as I just dey cum anyhow ooo. Omo! You sabi fuck die!"

“Mama, I be your boy ooo”

“I no teh you make you stop dey call me mama?”

We heard a crash dowsers.

She jumped down and switched off the lights and commanded me to stay put and stay silent.

I listened as the door in the front opened and her husband walked in. His unsteady steps grew louder as he got nearer. I hoped he could not hear the pounding of my heart from where ever he was.

“You don bring another one?”

His voice was without emotion. Flat and deflated. We both remained silent. He struck a match and raised it to his lips. The yellow glow from the match stick cast an eerie glow revealing parts of his face. Not enough to show the whole face, just fragments that did not look completely human. His eyes were bloodshot and blank. He took a deep drag and the house was back in darkness except for the red glow from his cigarette.

"You tell am say you go suck him glory, make am as useless like me and all the others? Abi this one no know?" He took a few drunken steps forward but did not enter the kitchen. I held my breath and covered my now very shrunken penis. What did he mean by sucking my glory?

He staggered off and the kitchen was now completely dark.

Was that what happened to him? There was gist on the streets that she was involved in some diabolical stuff but there was nothing about her that seemed true. How could her husband know that there was a man in her kitchen who had probably fucked her and not care? His comments were more a warning to me than accusatory towards her. Was Halima right after all and my landlady had seen something in me that she wanted? Was it physical? Or was it more diabolical.?