Showing pages tagged "Toto Series"

Toto Series: That’s Your Problem

Toto Series - That's your problem

Isn’t it funny that no matter what you are going through life is happening? Like you can be in the deepest of shits and someone is pissing the champagne they got drunk on celebrating all over you. Life is always happening.
I sat in the front seat still strapped waiting for Angela to get back. She had left the key in the ignition and left the stereo on so that I won’t be bored but instead the music kept annoying me with each new song. Do people really listen to the garbage this singers spew? And it’s played on radio? Even though I admit that my anger wasn’t entirely because of the music, I reached for the knob to turn it off. Maybe my mind would have some quiet to sieve through its own noise.

“We interrupt regular broadcast…”

the voice of the announcer rough and untidy interrupted the song and my action.

“… Listen to this. Following the fresh wave of the new virus, federal government is pressed to announce with immediate effect the closing down of all schools, public and private. All  places of worship and leisure. Interstate travel will also be restricted to only personal on essential duty; our security forces, medical personnel and the media. These measures are necessary to ensure the safety of lives of every Nigerian and government is deeply saddened by any inconvenience this may cause. States are advice to follow the safety guidelines in establishing their containment strategies. God bless the… ”

” hope I didn’t take too long? The queue was something else” Angela burst into the car interrupting the rest of the announcement. She put the takeaway packs and other items in the back seat.

“Are you okay?”

She queried and I nodded. Another lock down? This is the type of material nightmares are made of.
“Are you sure you are okay?”

” Dude, just drive okay! ”
” you don’t have to yell at me. Be a sour puss all you want but that attitude better be fixed by the time we arrive Tim’s place.”

Another lock down? With immediate effect? Did this fuckers ever think anything through before making these pronouncements? Could this country survive another round of lock downs? This was some real bullshit. I needed out of here!

“why da fuck is this happening?” I cursed under my breath.

“You said?”


“I heard you say something. Spit it”

“If you heard then why da fuck are you now asking me”?

“I didn’t hear the words and what exactly is wrong with you? Why are you acting like I drowned your cat???”

“I am so not in the mood for this okay… Just drive. Mtcheeew… In fact what did you get for lunch?”

“Are you doing this on purpose? Are you acting mad because it turns me on? If you want some of this… Just say so! She took her hand off the steering wheel to demonstrate her whole body. She knew how to make my frown turn upside down.

“You dey ment. Maifren what did you get for lunch?”

I smiled as I searched the backseat where she dropped the takeaway packs, choosing spaghetti and turkey wings.

Angela and I had shared a total of ten words during our first three years of school. She was a “chirpy-the-day-is-always-sunny-and I’m a pretty yellow flower girl and I kept away from her lot. I was a loner and it served me well.

We actually got to know each other during a school field trip. We had all been paired, two to a room to save cost and we ended up in the same room. I only slept in the room at night to avoid her and her brainless lot. She always had people drawn to her. Like some queen bee. Urgh!

On the day we were to visit the palace of the Ewi of Ado Ekiti, a day before our departure that is, we both woke up by 10am, the bus left since 8:30 am. We then had the grand idea, well actually she had the idea to follow them even though none of us knew the place or knew a word of Yoruba in case we needed directions. The taxi we hired took us to the Ejeye Oka Ere Shrine and left even before we could confirm if the location was correct.

After plenty fails at describing where we needed to be, a good Samaritan offered to take us there. That Samaritan would end up robbing us and leaving us on the side of the road, where we thinking the day couldn’t possibly get worst got drenched by the hardest rain I’ve ever felt. It was like we were being flogged by an unseen old woman for missing the bus.
By this time I was too angry for words. My anger swelled and spilled over my wet cheeks merging with the large strokes pelting my head and back. Angela on the other hand was laughing and talking about looking at the bright side of things.
Even though we had spent the last 3 hours getting fucked, she was all giddy and sunny. That made me even angrier. While we contemplated our next line of action, the bus we missed just happened to pass us. We rode the bus in silence while our lecturer saw it as a teachable moment and went on a tirade of why we should utilize all opportunities or end up miserable like Angela and Edidiong. By the time we reached the hotel I was ready to carve my brains out with a blunt rusty knife. I went up to our room while our lecturer gave Angela orders on whatever. I wasn’t going to stick around longer for the over twenty pairs of eyes judging, pitying and gloating at my predicament. Fuck them all.

I sat at the edge of the bathtub and let my tears fall unhindered. The monies I lost wasn’t even my problem, it’s the fact that I was taken for a fool. Growing in Asaba, you learn quickly that the difference between life and death is gullibility. Person wey fit make you believe am fit kill you. And such an easy con?


It was all Angela’s fault. I actually got caught up in her optimistic spirit and see where it landed me. The door creak interrupted my hiss. And just like the devil being summoned; Angela was inside the bathroom with me. Naked and muddy with that godforsaken smile on her face.

“Can’t you see the bathroom is occupied? ”

She entered the bathtub with me and turned on the shower head. She squealed as the water cold as ice sprayed us. Her squeal tuned into a giggle and full blown laugher while my body shook in anger. That’s when she kissed me. It was a collusion of her lips against mine. That jolted me out of the bathtub, out of the bathroom and almost out of the hotel room. She followed me dripping wet and laughing.

“Don’t evert try that shit!” I shouted. My voice sounding strangely thinner than usual.
“Why? I saw the way you’ve been looking at me throughout today. Don’t tell me…”
“You’re very mad. Who was looking at you? I no dey play this kain game so if this is a joke you better stop it.”

She walked up to me. Stood until our nose touched then lifted my left hand and placed on her breasts. I jerked at the feel of her skin against my palm. But she held it There. I swallowed hard. What was suddenly stuck in my throat? And why was I panting? What was happening to me??

She moved my palm over her breasts in an up down motion. My eyes fluttered closed. I swallowed. I felt her lips. Soft and moist brush over my lips. I tried to open my eyes, I tried to speak, to push her away but I couldn’t move. It was like I was in a trance, awake to every sensation coursing through my body but unable to move. My lips parted and her tongue gained entrance. She played with my lower lip, allowing her lips and teeth and tongue gain familiarity of my mouth as she pressed harder on my palms.

She left my hands to wonder over the marvel of her anatomy while she touched on mine. Her cold hands sent a shiver down my entire body. She rolled her tongue over mine and  tugged on my nipple simultaneously eliciting a deep throaty moan from me. Her tongue was on my neck while her hands were rubbing my breasts showing me places to also touch on her body. It was too much, there was too much happening at once. I pulled back panting like I’d just escaped being mauled by a cheetah.

“I’ve never done this before.”
She gave me a knowing node and led me to the bed.
“Just let go of everything. Follow the flow.”
“You are not hearing me. I said I’ve never been with a woman before. This is so wrong.”
She looked me deep into my eyes before kissing my lips.
“Does this feel wrong?”
She kissed my neck and whispered into my ear.
“Does this feel wrong to you?”
She sucked on my nipple drawing me deep into her mouth before giving me the lightest bite.

“Does this feel wrong.”

She rubbed on the mouth of my vagina lightly before pressing her Index and forefinger into my moist opening. The moan escaped even before I knew there was a buildup. I shut my eyes and swallowed.

“Does this feel wrong to you?”

She asked in the most ethereal voice as her fingers worked me. My body was on fire yet I wanted more. My throat was patched and no matter how much I swallowed I still needed more. My legs couldn’t hold my weight anymore but it didn’t matter because I was floating. I was weightless as her stroking intensified. There I was in a swanky hotel room being pleasured by a woman who was making me feel things I’d never Felt. My orgasm hit me. Fast and hard. I’d never had an orgasm so there was no anticipating It. I felt a jolt like sensation that spread from the back of my head to every single part of my body. It was like I was being fed with electric current low enough to survive and high enough to force screaming from me. She held on to me until the spasms had run its course.

The next day as soon as we arrived campus, I shaved my hair into a mowhawk.

That was seven years ago. We hadn’t been in the same city since after graduation and lost all communications until the first lock down saw us quarantined together in Melbourne. She was running a course that I was facilitating. I’d moved to Sidney to avoid Nigerians and their small mindedness after I’d come out to my mum and she in turn told my dad who arranged for me to be married to his old friend’s son who funny enough was a closet gay. He was willing to go ahead with the union to end months of bullying and threats. I wasn’t. My dad gave me an ultimatum. Be married or disowned. I chose the latter. I left home, Nigeria and everything in it with the intention of never returning until I walked into the lecture hall that faithful winter morning and saw Angela in all her giddiness. She had grown from the girl in Ekiti to a sophisticated woman. She’d been sent by her company which according  to her was going to be headed by her in the fall. She had moved up and it showed on her. She’d replaced her jeans with pencil skirts braids with a bob complete with rich hues. Her makeup was subtle and accentuated her high cheekbones and brown eyes.

After the lecture she came to introduce herself. I’d acted like she was just another post graduate foreign student and didn’t allow my gaze linger beyond seconds. I feigned ignorance then surprise then anger. She was all apologies and laughter. She was staying at the Atlantis and wouldn’t mind if we meet up sometime for drinks. I told her it was against school policy to frolic with students.

“Even old friends?”

“First of all there is nothing old about you, and secondly sadly even old friends.”

For the next three months we shared the same space and built up so much tension. We could’ve powered a village for weeks. It was always there; the undercurrent of desire. Being in the same room and acting like strangers took every single strength I could master. I became irritable and curt with my students. My normal mild Gothic brooding turned into full darkened skies. The more angry I got, the more turned on she became, the more she tried to get me the more I acted. A full circle of intense fucking without any of the pleasure.

After a particularly fucked up day, I called her up in the evening and invited her to my place for drinks. As soon she stepped into the room I pounced on her. She was still giddy and mischievous but I was a grown woman who had tore through women in three countries. This time around I was in charge and I wanted to fuck through the tension of the past three months. I wanted to fuck her smile off her face. She’d taught me a few tricks back in uni, I was about to show her new international tricks.

Her lips were still as soft as I remembered. We were both in a rush to familiarize our lips, hands, bodies. Our clothes left a trail from the living room door to the bed. I made her sit on my fingers. Spreading wide, jutting her juiced big butt filling my grateful palms. Her grind was rhythmic. Deep deep.. Round deep… Low curl deep… Deep deep. I followed her tempo moving to her grind. Giving her room to drive us there. Before long, her head fell to the side in the way I knew her eruption was near.
Not so fast.

I stood up lifting her with her butt to my face. I dropped her on the top of my drawers and went in. She tasted soft like hot marshmellows melting in my mouth. Her nails dug into my back sending me deeper. I could feel her thighs squeeze in as the night was rendered by her moans. She cames in gusts.. Her breath and juices erupted staccato like.  She smiled at me as I took her to the bed.

You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I wore Hercules. All my straps had names. Hercules was my 7 inch pink dildo. I hovered above her, guiding hercules like à taunt arrow.

“I want to have you in the shower.  That’s where I got my first taste of your lips, it’s only right I give you a taste of the monster you made there”

She giggled as she caressed the side of my face. She paused as though an unpleasant thought reached out to steal her joy.

“Is that what you think of yourself? A monster?”
“I’d let you be the judge of that. ”

I’ve not been with anyone else. I couldn’t bring myself to be with someone else after you left.”
“After I left? You and I remember what happened differently. It doesn’t even matter now, we are here. We should be fucking not talking.”

“It matters to me. Do you know what you did? How I felt when you left? No word, no explanation, just silence.”

WHAT! How was she spread in my bed in the glow of her cum fresh and poignant and saying I left her? She must have bumped her head on the wall while I gave her head. Maybe instead of cum she’d orgasmed brain matter.

“That’s your problem”

She knew better than to continue any conversation after I’d said those words. She knew that was me checking out.

She reached out with both hands and pinched my nipples, hard ! My groan was a throaty broken  AHhhh.. Hh!

I thrust in ferociously. She spread open welcoming my deep assault. I was like a hell hound following a faint scent. She was my gateway yet I was doomed to always remain imprisoned. I thrust deeper burying her betrayal. Enveloping myself in the softness of her insides where the sting of her throwing away my love pure and fierce couldn’t reach.

Watching her in the throes of passion drove me mad with desire. She didn’t hold anything back. She gave and received in equal measure. I flipped her over and she provided the perfect arch.

Ahh… Hhha!

I went in!

I tasted of her offering.

She was flowing with molten necter. She was swollen with pleasure and I sucked and teased and drew sounds of music from her.

When her whimpering grew deeper I thrust into her again..driving her to platforms she’d never been on, taking her through dark alleys of desire she’d never knew existed.

I felt my jerking and knew the inevitable was near. Holding on for dear life I exploded in to tiny fragments of nothingness.

“Still think I’m not a monster?”

she insisted we take a shower but we ended up fucking again.  After a dinner of Chinese takeout we were back in my bed. I never allowed any woman sleep in my bed. But here she was all comfortable and shit in my sweatshirt and socks.

“You’re sweet. I don’t know why you think you need to hide behind your clothes and hair and all this..

“Anger? That seems to be your Achilles no?”

The giggle was back.

“I don’t even know how even after all these years you still have a hold on me. Mehn. And the way you fuck? Omo! I almost passed out! That thing you did in the bathroom, I’ve never experienced sensations like that ever. I mean, even if I want to; I can’t claim to have made this monster as you say.”

You were the first woman I was ever with. And it’s not like I wanted to be with a woman before. Sometimes I remember Ekiti and I wonder if we hadn’t gotten lost and duped and drenched, if you hadn’t walked into the bathroom or kissed me, I’d probably be in Ikorodu with two children and a husband stuck in the madness of that city. With no one this wiser. Even if you don’t claim it, you actually made me come to terms with who I am.”

She’d moved into my apartment three days later and a week after that the first quarantine measures where invoked. She was always calling home. The protests in various cities, the warehouse looting she kept tabs on it all. That was also when I knew about Tim. She’d met Tim during our final exams and they’d been together ever since. They were clearly in love. The way she became animated when she talked about him. The way she’d cry silently on nights she spoke to him. That was who she had chosen over me.

She’d introduced me as her best friend and I smiled and waved into the camera when they FaceTimed. As soon as travel restrictions were eased she was on the next available flight back to Nigeria leaving me with a broken heart for the same man again.

Four months ago she faced timed me to show me her ring. Tim had proposed and they were getting married. It was going to be a small wedding with mostly family and a few friends. She wanted me to be her made of honor. I’d cried that night. This woman that had been my first lover, that had made me realize what loving someone totally was, was asking me to come and bear witness as she gave of herself to another man. And somehow I’d agreed? The tears wouldn’t stop flowing. I called the twins and even that couldn’t stop my broken river banks.

It’s been two weeks since I arrived Lagos and the tension between us had already peaked. My consolation was that in two more weeks this will all be over and I’d call up Boirj to exorcise Angela’s memory. That was until the announcement over the radio of another lock down with immediate effect.

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Toto Series: SAME OL GAME

Same OL Game

The seeds of deceit were being planted and I was an active participant even though I did not know.

The first time he messaged me, I ignored him. He was not on my friends’ list, we didn’t have any mutuals, plus it was a random good morning beautiful. I didn’t even bother to open it. Three weeks later, he messaged me again. This time I went through his profile out of curiosity. His header was a beautiful poem from an unknown African author.

Herbs are not important to the one that only sees weeds.
Fires are dangerous to he who wills it only to burn
Love is never enough for the roaming eyes.

his profile picture was a picture of a man, woman and twin boys in matching outfits. It was a breathtakingly beautiful picture taken at an outdoor event. The woman had strikingly beautiful blue eyes with full wavy red hair that trapped the sun’s rays and came alive. There was a sweet innocence about her. The man- Damian was all smiles in his kente and shorts. His smile was broad but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was clearly well-read and well-travelled. He enjoyed talking about architecture and education. Whenever an argument ensued which seldom happened, he was never forceful or a gloater.

His message, the one that got my looking up posts of as far back as 2012 read “good morning Peace ( I hope I can call you Peace). I am Damian, a Ghanian happily married to Isabelle a Canadian and we are blessed with a set of twin boys. I work with the United Nations and I enjoy reading your thoughts here and I see we have quite a few things in common. Do you think we could be friends?

Sorry for my initial message I totally understand if you hold it against me.

I did not reply to the message but this time I opened it. Small progress. That evening he sent me a friend request together with another message.

Mr D: “Sorry, I know I am disturbing you( I feel like I am). I never get a hint from silent treatment so, please tell me to bug off and I promise to leave you be.”

Mr D: “I also sent you a friend request. Smiley face”

P: “hello Damian. Thank you for the introduction. How can I help you?”

I couldn’t help feeling put off. There was the good morning beautiful message that clearly did not fit with the innocence of the do you think we can be friends bit. Plus what kind of friends would we be? He didn’t need to be in the DM’s if it was as he put it or was I just overthinking this? Then there was the possibility that he could be a scam artist looking to score.

Mr D: “Ouch”

P: “???”

Mr D: “Well like I mentioned earlier, I just wish us to be friends. If that is too much for you, I can understand and leave you be. But know I wish you no harm”

P; “Okay”

Abeg some of these seemingly harmless friendships can end in please admin hide my identity. Before long I’d forgotten his face and all was well with the world.

My wellness was short-lived. One day he is an unknown social media user and the next minute he is everywhere. He is under my friend’s posts with funny witty replies, he is also under my posts but ensures he’s replying to those replying to me and never directed to me.

Our mutuals were now 210. un-fucking-believable. Yet somehow I had gotten used to seeing him on my timeline. Thankfully he wasn’t a nuisance so I didn’t bother.

A friend wanted to sell off a property in the highbrow area of Maitama. If I got a buyer in a week I could get 10% of the total sale. As soon as I posted the property I got a message from him

Mr D: “Hello is the property still on the market?

P: “Good afternoon. Yes, are you interested?

Mr D “Yes, can I see it?”

P: photos.

Mr D: ” I mean can I come to Maitama and see it myself?

P: Hold on let me confirm. When would you want to see it?

Mr D: I will be in Nigeria on the 5th of August. Let’s say the 9th.

P: “This is a distress sale so it is going on a first come first serve basis. but if you are looking for a property in Maitama I could hook you up.

Mr D: “then I’d take it.

P: Wouldn’t you want to see it first?

Mr D: “I like the pictures. It fits with what I am looking for. And at 550 million, it is a steal. The only issue is I would really love to carry out some damage assessment; so that work can commence soon.

P: “let me get back to you.”

On the one hand, 10% of 550 million was good money but on the other hand, if the house was a beautiful hollow shell or a haunted mansion or worst embroiled in some court wahala, could I afford to have my name mixed in such drama? Seeing that the house could easily go for .7 billion naira. after having an honest conversation with my friend I could confidently begin planning how to spend my 550 thousand naira.

P: “Good evening. You won’t need to do much repairs except if you are looking to remodel. This is actually a steal.”

Mr D: “Great. Just mail the papers to me at and we would proceed from there.

P: “Sounds good to me. Expect an email from”

And just like that, the deal was done. No back and forth, no jumping through hoops, no extra fanfare. He even sent an extra hundred thousand which according to him was for making the process easy for him. Damian is the kind of clients God should be sending abeg.

P: “Good evening to you. I wanted to ask if the house was to your liking. Any feedback you give is highly welcomed.”

I’d contemplated sending the message a million times and each time I rejected the idea. He said he would be in town from the 9th, but by 20th I had not heard from him. I messaged my friend and she said he had moved in already. For real? Well, the least he could do was let me know, right? On the 31st I drove past on my way to visit David’s lounge- fantasy and for whatever reason, I parked my car and watched maybe his nanny or relative drive the twins out the gate. I watched as she passed me oblivious to my existence with the boys screaming along to Phyno’s man of the year. Why was I bothered? Shey I should be happy that it was a clean deal and focus on getting more deals? So why couldn’t I shake off his silence? I shared same with David who looked at me like I had a spider on my face.

“When last did you get laid?”

What the hell Dave! How does this factor here please?”

I’m serious. Shey if you were getting good dick now you would have time to be worrying if some random stranger sends you a message or not.”

“You won’t understand. This was the same man who couldn’t leave my inbox and now all of a sudden is AWOL? Plus he is in Abuja, as in the same city with me ooo.

“Did you want him in the DM’s?

“No. But…”

“Then I don’t see the problem.”

I wanted to argue further but I knew it would be futile. David would never understand. He was such a straightforward no assumptions guy. The waiter, a fine-looking man took my order while Dave excused himself. This was his baby. A lounge that was home to everyone looking to escape the insane Abuja hustle. A place of no judgements and knowing David, that’s exactly what he was offering. The lounge wasn’t officially open but he’d opened his doors to a few patrons sort of like a listening party to feel the pulse of what people actually want.

“Still looking at my waiter?”

“Well it is criminal that you put these fine men to serve sex-starved women such as myself”

“He’s gay tho. But hey! I’m here whenever you need serving”

“I’ve got your number. Might use it someday.”

On the drive back three hours later, I somehow found myself parked across from the street again. Must have been there for about 10 minutes before realizing how insane what I was doing was. How did I go from ignoring his DM”s to stalking his house? how??.

Mr D: “Good morning Peace, so sorry it has taken this long to get back. The move has been hectic. I am officially in your city!! perhaps when you are less busy you would show me around?

O no he didn’t. The move had been hectic? He had been in town for over a month and his excuse was the move? After he had left my message on read twice! I was pretty upset and didn’t know how to react so I didn’t respond. Let us all leave each other on read.

Mr D: “I sent you something for the weekend. I know how busy you have been lately. You can go to a spa or retail therapy.”

Mr D: “I hope you don’t mind. I know I should have asked first.”

I had seen the alert of 300 thousand from a Nexend corp. almost two hours ago. I had even contemplated going to the bank to find out the sender before EFCC would knock on my door saying I’m an accomplice to some crime I didn’t commit. 300k for a spa day or retail therapy just like that? I had still had not replied to his request to show him the city and truthfully I had been busy with my pet advocacy project as well as exams prep. Somehow he had been pushed to the back and now suddenly he was back. Why did he send me the money? Did he feel some type of way or was he trying to buy my good graces? But with 300k?

P: “Thank you. It was unexpected but I am grateful.”

I felt a little guilty about putting him on read but I couldn’t speak on that now that he had sent me money. Before he would think the money was persuasion. Since he didn’t reply, I returned to exam prep.

The weekend after my final papers he was back in the DM’s which wasn’t strange. I was in celebration mood so I decided to indulge him.

Mr D: “Congrats on your final paper. How are we celebrating?”

We? Must be speaking French.

P: “My friends and I are going to Ghana to celebrate.”

Mr D: ” Sounds like fun. Do you mind if I send you something for souvenirs? ”

Mr D: ” Don’t say no. I know you can handle yourself, just a little something okay?”

P: “ Thank you. I don’t mind.”

P: “The trip is for Tuesday, maybe we could hang out this weekend if you are free.”

Mr D: “I am out of town. Maybe when you come back from your trip. Is that cool?”

P: “ Sure.  But what took you out of town? Hope all is well?”

Mr D: “Yes and no. But don’t let me bore you. Congratulations once more.

P: “It is fine. I am here if you wish to talk.”

Mr D: “Maybe some other time. Good night.”

I got an alert of 700k from him 3 minutes later. Ghana would definitely be turnt. My coursemates and I had contributed to have a weekend trip to Ghana to celebrate 6 years spent for a 4-year course along with all the other “colourful” things found in a Nigerian tertiary institution. We figured having a final year dinner was not enough to wash away the trauma we had endured for the certificates we were not even sure of getting.

Ghana was amazing. We swam and danced and drank and did all we needed to do. Our motto was what happens in Ghana better not come back to Nigeria. By the time we arrived at the airport on the fifth day, we had experienced our version of a Vegas weekend. I sent Damian a message to thank him for making Ghana a truly enjoyable experience.

Mr D: ” Are you back yet?”

P: “Not yet. Our flight got delayed. Still at the airport.”

Mr D: “In Ghana or Nigeria?”

P: “ Ghana. We are at the Kumasi airport.”

Mr D: “Why? You should have gone to Accra instead. When is the next flight?

P: “ I honestly don’t know. We have been here for close to three hours.”

Mr D: “give me your number. I could arrange a private jet for you. How many of you are there?”

P: “We are six of us. 08030012877.

Mr D: “Got it.”

Courtesy of Damian my friends and I had our first private jet experience. We took pictures and drank all the champagne on board. By the time we arrived in Nigeria, I had become a mini-celebrity. It is not every day you get saved by a man with access to a private jet.

In Lagos, there was a limousine waiting for me with instructions to ferry me to the Lagos boat club. There I met Mr D. he was even more striking than in the pictures. He was large. I don’t know heights but he was way taller than me with broad shoulders and an almost invisible neck. He requested I waited for him to finish up his meetings then we would fly back to Abuja together. Did I wish to rest or go somewhere? I opted to rest and was driven to Westwood. His meetings lasted well into the evening so we couldn’t travel that night. He invited me for dinner at the restaurant but I could barely eat. Everything felt surreal. He told me his story. He was a pro basketballer who didn’t quite go pro because of a knee injury. He however had an eye for raw talent and became a scout. After a few years of doing that he decided to go back to school but ended up joining the military and became a member of an elite international squad. That was how he met his wife Isabelle.

He was generous with praising his wife. She was his anchor and had stuck with him through a tumultuous time and now that she had blessed him with twins he wanted to give her the best. We talked into the night. The next morning by 9 am he sent a message, he should be done with his meetings by 12 noon so he would book our flight for 5pm to factor in any other delays he may experience. The limousine was at my disposal to do with as I wished. I went to Balogun market and bought clothes to come and sell to my school friends and Facebook followers. I had an eye for great fashion pieces so picking clothes in vogue that will sell asap wasn’t a problem. By 3pm I was back in my hotel to freshen up and pack. I ordered for light lunch while I packed. By 4:45 pm I met up with him at the airport. He said he had a few more stops so I brought his luggage from his room.

In Abuja, he disappeared again. He had my number and I had finally accepted his friend request. I sent him a message to thank him for saving myself and my friends in Ghana but a curt no problem was his only response. Did I do anything wrong to him? Was it the clothes I was posting on my timeline and stories for sale that was the problem? I had gone over all that transpired and I couldn’t fathom what it was. Then out of the blues, he was back.

Mr D: “Hello Peace. How about that hangout you owe me? Do you think this weekend works?”

P: “ This your disappearing acts na wa. Where did you run off to this time around?

Mr D: “I’m sorry. I will explain when we meet. Suggest a cool place for a drink. I will send my driver by say, 7pm.

P: “Okay. I will send directions to my place. See you at 7pm.”

That was when he revealed to me the woes of his marriage. On the outside they were perfect but the cracks in their marriage could fit an alligator. His wife had become disillusioned with his constant travelling. She had accused him severally of cheating and when that didn’t stick she accused him of being gay. After their sons were born she totally shut him off and even filed for divorce before succumbing to pleas from family and friends.

How can such a sweet man be cursed with a woman who couldn’t stand the sight of him? He was great looking with a very strong sex appeal. He was generous and kind and clearly adored his wife. My pet project deals with women who are seeking to find the spark in their marriages, to heat up the coals that had gone cold. Here was this man who clearly still had the hots for his wife but was being shut out. I gave him all the advice I had, we both spoke to sex therapists and gynaecologists who attributed her coldness to many factors including the birth of their twin boys. He was advised by professionals to continue being kind and thoughtful in his pursuit of coitus.

He became busy with a new project of his and he requested I stepped in. He got me a phone that was a clone of his and I began interacting with his wife. I’d ask about the children, remind her of her appointments, send her thoughtful gifts on special days as well as random days; all the things she had held against him because of his busy schedule. By the time he came up for air, she was eager to have him at home and in her bed.

I felt like a god, working my magic in the shadows, seeing how she had turned from a bitter spiteful woman to a blooming flower. As a thank you after a successful weekend of them closed off just the two of them, he sent me off to Dubai to shop and unwind.

As soon as I arrived, he was at the airport to pick me.

“How can you be so busy and still come to pick me up from the airport”

“I must say, you have made me realize what is truly important and to make the effort.”


We drove to a popular buka for some much-craved amala and ewedu ensemble. We ate and talked – I listened as he spoke about this new project. It was revolutionary and a part of me felt giddy knowing him and being a part of his vision even by proxy.

It was 7pm when he drove down the road to my apartment. We sat in the car in silence. “She is not moving back. She is staying back in Ghana with the boys.”

“I am so sorry…”

His mouth swallowed the rest of my comments. His lips trembled as he sought comfort. I kissed him back. His hand cupped the back of my neck and drew me closer. Thank god I had removed my seatbelt so I could move in closer. He stopped jerked off as if from a trance and sat back in his seat. He adjusted noisily and cleared his throat.

“Ummmm… I am sorry about that. It is just…”

“It is fine.”

I dropped from the vehicle and watched him drive off. What just happened?

I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. The way my entire body responded to his trembling lips. My God! My entire headspace was filled with wanton thoughts of the feel of his hands; the way the balls of his fingers rolled over my neck as his kisses got deeper. What was wrong with me? He on the other hand was acting like nothing happened. He didn’t fail to insert his wife and kids into our conversations. It was all good, we both knew that the kiss shouldn’t have happened.

Mr D: “SOS”

MR. D: “I missed our anniversary. I am out of town, won’t be back till tomorrow. HELP!”

P: “Ouch!”

P: “Did you have any plans?”

Mr D: “None. Totally slipped my mind. This new project has taken over my life.

Mr D: “Brb.”

Mr D: “I will call you in an hour”

I watched the clock on the wall wishing the time could pull a Usain Bolt. I tried to distract myself with the work on my desk but my mind was hell-bent on the wall clock and my phone. After almost two hours of fidgeting, I got a message.

Mr D ” It’s been settled. Talk soon.”

Huh? What the hell? talk soon? Not after I had made calls to cake shops and flower vendors. Not after putting my bolt guy on standby in case, it got too dark out. It’s been settled. The way I was invested in this man’s marriage you would think that was my great commission.

I had too much pent up feelings and I knew no amount of work would distract me. I called the bolt guy, I needed a drink or two. There was that open invitation to fantasy. It won’t hurt to enjoy some male company and David fit the bill. Devilishly handsome, rich, well connected and had a crush on me.

The interior of fantasy had been properly crafted to make it look spacious yet welcoming. The lights were mellow and the air was filled with heady woody scents. The exterior made you eager to enter, the exterior made you too comfortable to leave. I went to the bar and ordered a dirty martini then texted David.

He came, all smiles and hugs.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

Well, I wanted to surprise you. Surprise!”

You almost surprised yourself because I was about leaving”

Whew! With the amount of pent up energy, I had, not meeting  David would have been a disaster.

He invited me to the back away from the music and people. He informed me four back rooms were catering to various clients’ needs. Where we were going he said was exactly what I needed. Well, lead on mister.

As soon as I stepped in I was immediately transported. The room was like an old southern diner complete with a jukebox machine- I’d never seen one of those in real life. this room was for those looking to indulge in some nostalgia or those like me who have some romantic scene stuck in their heads. I was transported to the bodyguard starring Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner. All that was missing was an unknown stalker.

You bought the coins needed to use the jukebox. Four coins cost a thousand naira and you could only play two songs. I played Jolene by Dolly Parton and moved to the forlorn melody. David watched me spin imaginary binding cords in the air from the skirting shisha smoke floating upwards. I played out the resigned fate of the singer. The knowledge that she would always be second best but still appealing “ don’t take my man even though you can”

“You are a beautiful woman. I now understand why this room is a hit at Fantasy.”

I sat beside him and took a sip of my drink.

“What other rooms are there?”

His eyes dropped to my lips and slowly rested on my ample bosom covered now with a thin film of sweat. I followed his eyes and escorted them back to my face.

“They are occupied at the moment. And just like this one, you need to experience it instead of being told.”

I nodded and collected more coins. David had worked many jobs on his way up the ladder, one being a bartender and from the flow of exciting flavours and perfect blends, he must have been in high demand. I played “I’m every woman” by Whitney Houston and “sexual healing” by Marvin Gaye. There were thousands of songs to pick from; songs about money, pussy, weed, old-time love, war, everything. This room, the escape; the old romantic hues of brown, orange, ox red, the amazingly tasting liquor that kept flowing and David. The ever-smiling great conservationist who had joined me to dance to busy signal’s missing you. To hell with Damian and his talk soon. If he imagined that I would be huddled in some corner waiting for him well he thought wrong.


How the hell did I give this man such power over my thoughts? I could be thinking of doing the dishes and the image of him would intrude. Why did I suddenly feel empty without him? Here I was having a good time and yet I was wishing it was his perfect white dentition shadowing mine. I wanted his hands on the small of my waist and not David’s. It was our bodies meant to be moving to the magic in Busy signal’s voice. And just like that, the magic was gone. I was back in my seat a sulking heap.

“Can we go?”

David had been nothing but a fantastic host and I hated what I was doing but I could not stay here a minute longer. He didn’t push. He only asked if I was sure. That was something about David. He never pushed. He believed that a woman should be as eager to be with him or nothing. “We matching energies or nothing at all” he would always say. It was cold outside. I had planned to stay till around 11pm max 12 but here I was by 2:00am wrapped in David’s coat waiting for my bolt guy. He’d insisted on dropping me off but I insisted back. I did not want to have the awkward conversation of whether he should come in or not. Even though he wasn’t that kind of person, there was no need to push him.

The drive back was sober. My bolt guy who was usually chatty was silently humming to Sinach played on low volume. Why couldn’t I match David’s energy? Why didn’t I feel more than a deep appreciation for him? When I first arrived in Abuja, he was there for me. A solid friend who housed me for four months before I got my own place. He was the one who connected me to my first billionaire client. I wanted fireworks and wildfires. I wanted Damian. Damian was unpredictable, sleek and passionate. You never knew what was coming up next with him.

“Small Madam no be house you dey drop?”

“Sorry. Na here I dey drop. How much be your money?”

“Small madam, na normal way”

“Okay. I go transfer am give you for morning.”

No wahala small madam. Good night.”


I hugged David’s coat closer to wad off the biting wind. In the cold night, the road to my doorstep felt like the great wall of China. The heaviness in my heart seeped to my legs as I trudged on. As I put my keys I saw my plants move. I didn’t wait to see what was behind them. I flung my purse and shoes and ran off. Whatever it was had legs and was following me too.

“Jesus!!!! Jesus!!!”

What is wrong with you? Would you stop running… and screaming!”

What the hell Damian! What are you doing here? Jesus, you scared me!.” He gripped my arm and wordlessly pulled me back towards the house. He ordered me to open the door while he picked my purse and shoes. Inside he flung my purse and shoes and pulled me into him. I felt the rush of blood flood my entire system blocking every sense I had. His chest heaved with every breath he took, crushing my puckered breasts. My throat was dried and I began trembling in anticipation of what was to come.


There was no foreplay, no sweet words spoken, nothing. He pulled up my dress, pulled down my panties and inserted his humongous dick into me.


I felt like I was being split into two! He was pounding into me and my scream was stuck in my throat along with his dick. I stiffened as he continued his assault. So this is how I will die? Split into two by the Thor of dicks! No wonder his wife was unwilling to move back with him. The poor woman had escaped murder. He grunted off after he was done while I lay there still shell shocked by the last 5 minutes.

“What the fuck just happened?”

“I know right?”

“You know you just raped me in my house, right?”

“O please., rape? Isn’t that far-reaching? So I was overcome by jealousy mixed with fear since you were not picking your calls or replying to my messages…”

“And that is enough reason to come to my house and rape me?”

he was up and pacing my living room. My eyes widened as he spoke. Was he being serious?

“I didn’t rape you. You know you wanted this as much as I did. Don’t pretend you didn’t know that we would end up fucking. If I rushed it, I can make it up to you now.”

“Get out.”

“O come on. Don’t be like this. Do you want me to apologise? fine, I am sorry. I am sorry that I am in love with you and I can’t think straight. I am sorry that ever since I came across you on Facebook I have been plagued by the thoughts of you; your mind, your body, everything! There I said it”

“I said get out!! get out of my house before I scream and wake the neighbours. Get out Damian; out!!!!”

How did I let this happen? How did I not see this for what it was? The monies, the “o I love my wife and want to please her routine.” It was the same ol game and he had played it to perfection.

I texted David. He said he would be at my place in two hours. I used the time to clean myself and my apartment. I allowed the heat of the water to burn my skin. I scrubbed off Damian until my skin was tingled and raw. I then proceeded to the kitchen to make my Sunday special. Pancakes. I mixed the flour, pinch of salt and sugar, and baking powder together, then the butter, milk, eggs and vanilla extract separately and kept it. I filled a bowl with an array of fruits; strawberries, blueberries, diced bananas and pineapples. I poured a generous amount of yoghurt and placed it in the fridge. Back in the room, I put on my most racy underwear. A red matching lace set I got on my trip to Dubai three months ago courtesy of Damian. I suppressed the image of him. Forced him out of my mind and mentally prepared for David’s arrival. We matching energies or nothing. That was his creed and I was going to match his energy. David sensed something was off immediately. I never served him. We treated each other’s homes like it was ours. But here I was wrapped in a silk robe pouring honey over his steaming pancake. he could never resist my pancakes and I watched as he wolfed the pancakes. By the time I brought the bowl of fruits he knew where this was heading to. He ate slowly as if tasting the various flavours, savouring the contrast of the tastes and textures wrapped in creamy goodness. While he ate I unwrapped my robe and stood before him. The look of surprise was replaced by the unmistakable heaviness of desire. He sat back in the seat, the bowl of fruits forgotten on the table.

He watched me for what felt like a thousand years before he stood up. he walked up to me slowly, watching my face for any clues as to what my intentions are. I told him.

“I want you to fuck me. Don’t ask me why just fuck my brains out”

“Are you sure?”


He searched my face to give me a chance to back down. But I didn’t. I NEEDED THIS.

He lifted me and took me to the bedroom but not the bed. He had always said my bed was too soft for any serious action. He teased me that that was why I never got any action. Since I moved in a year ago, no man had slept in my bed. No man had fucked me until last night.

He made love to me first with his eyes, then his words, then his hands and tongue before his dick. This man that I had shunned for so long, this man that I didn’t know could ever make me feel passion brought out the woman in me and I was a believer.

I didn’t know I could cum just by having my breasts worked on but by the time he had gotten to my soaked panties, I had come twice.

I tried to close my legs to shut out the sensations. I was drowning in the puddle of my own making and I wanted it to stop. He used his broad shoulders as a wedge while he continued to eat me out. I felt the spasms rock me from my little toe right through the tip of my hair. As my breathing began to normalize and I gradually made my descent back to earth, he straddled me. His dick was wet and shiny with a thin film of pre-cum dripping off. I watched as he used the tip to wipe my clitoris. His movements were a mixture of fast and slow building up momentum with every move. My body had taken on a mind of its own and was responding like a duet. My legs that had shaken from earlier spread open as he dug into me without entering. His face was contorted as he concentrated on giving me pleasure. I had cum twice, on the verge of the third yet he shone gloriously not in his release. My throbbing grew erratic. He must have sensed it too as his free hand shot to my nipple forcing me to erupt gloriously. That was when he entered. His haggard breathing, a testament to his own pleasure. He pinned me to the ground with his fingers wrapped around my neck and rode. He began slow, too slow. Working my vagina walls, ensuring he filled me up completely. David was big, but I welcomed his full length. The way he filled me up, perfectly like he was made just for me. His veins served as tentacles conjuring unbridled sensations as he pushed in and out. Fully in, halfway out.

The ta ta ta ta rhythm grew faster and faster and the fireworks beckoned. My juices mixed with the smell and feel of him.

“Oh, You’re so juicy! Fuck! Fuck ME! URGHHHHH! I’M COMING URGHHHH!! ”

I thrust my hips forward and spread wider as his groans filled the room. I held him inside me while his body shook. This man is delicious abeg. Why did it take me so long to get here? Why did I have to go through the beast to get to my knight? Here I thought David was safe. Not knowing he was blue flame, the most dangerous of them all.

I wasn’t sure what this was. How we would go from here. I had not seen beyond this moment. I knew I would have to deal with Damian soon enough, I knew we would have to find a way to make this work. But for now, I lay on my back holding tight to David. Satisfied in the now.

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